"you coming back to me is against the odds, but thats what i've got to face."
from "Take A Look At Me Now" sung by Phil Collins
okay here is a really quick update on how much stinkier my life has gotten since i last wrote. (which was definetly not that long ago). my husband was home waiting for me last night which he wasnt supposed to be home, he was supposed to be at work, and he said that his boss had fired him and that was it. he also said that the other job that he was supposed to have had fallen through, and they had said for some reason that they had someone else, and that they didnt need him right now. so he is now completely unemployed. so i am of course flipping out, because i am thinking that we are going to be getting evicted if he cant pay the rent. (which is, of course, a very good possibility of something that could happen.) no money=not able to pay rent. and unfortunately without him paying the rent, i cant help out but maybe a 100 or 200 dollars, which when the rent is almost 1000 doesnt do much good. so that is one thing. the other thing is that he was so upset and aggravated last night, that we got into a huge argument, which under normal circumstances wouldnt have been a big deal, but because of everything i guess that was going on with him. he lost his temper, and lost it. he didnt touch me or any other living things, but you can use your imagination. so i got upset with him and locked him out of the bedroom, and fell asleep sobbing and basically getting within like a hair of having a breakdown. i'm talking curled up in a ball, oblivious to everything. so anyway, i fell asleep like that, and eventually let him back into the bedroom. and now he is constantly apologizing and saying that he is sorry, but that i egged him on and got him like that. with him you can never get a complete i'm sorry, it is always an im sorry but ..... he always finds a way to blame someone else, so all the blame is never on himself. i dont care what the situation, that is always the way that it is. i am trying not to stress out to much about the him not having a job thing, because he did just lose it yesterday. so he can still bounce back as long as he gets a job relatively quickly now.
about my job, it is getting better. i am getting a lot more training, both in groups and by myself, and am starting to get some understanding about the programs that i am using. also, me and my ex are seeing what is going to go on regarding this timing watching thing with my daughter, and how most likely my schedule will be changing in 90 days, if i go permanent with the company.
oh, and tyn if you are reading this, i am sorry that i didnt call you last night, but as you can tell things are crazy or should i say that i am crazy, and i will call you as soon as i can.
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