Entry From Thursday Night (Computer Wasn't Working)

i tried calling HIM back tonight, but he didnt answer as usual it seems lately. i am starting to get used to this and expect this from him. i wonder why he is being like this lately. he used to be pretty good at checking his messages and/or answering his phone, but lately it has gotten really bad, probably for the simple fact of him drinking so much lately that he keeps forgetting or not doing things, that would be my guess. this is just so much more upsetting to me, because here he has said things that have upset me so much and he is not speaking to me regarding it. and the one conversation that i did have with him regarding it was while he was drunk, so that wasnt of much help. i need to just start blocking everything like this out of my mind because there isnt any point. as the therapist said all those things that he said to me are lies, and it isnt really him saying them, because he is drunk. if he said them when he is sober it would be different. but the very few times that i have spoken to him when he was sober he has never said anything like this. lets see how long it takes him to call me back, i am not calling him.