I Am Starting To Really Dislike HIM

even bordering on hate, even though i really dont like to say that i hate someone. HIM telling me all of those things when he was drunk really got me going and got me all upset again. that was so cruel. and he just walked away like he has walked away from everything else that he has said or done to me, with no care or regrets. i was looking through my old picture album that i have that is from about the whole year and a half that we were together (and lived together) and looking back yes, i really miss him. but there is one other thing that is really upsetting other then him. it is the life that i lost when i lost him and my apartment. things were so much easier then. i had so much more money than i do now, i liked my housing better, and i had to worry about less. he always made sure that the all (and i mean all) the housework was done, dinner was cooked, even some nights he would bathe and put the kids to bed for me. if i wanted to go somewhere at night, he would stay home and watch them, and if i had to run errands he would keep them with him. he just always seemed to make my life easier. i guess i miss that and that quality about him. cause now i am with someone (if you want to call it that) who just doesnt seem to give a crap most of the time. dont get me wrong, he has been getting better. for example, for the first time in 4 months, he watched the kids for me for 2.5 hours so that i could go do something for me, which was getting my nails done. so that was nice. even still, i had to ask/beg him to do it for me. i really am starting to get very angry and frustrated towards him. because he walked away and left me with all of this crap to do deal with, and he just got away with nothing. and when i am starting to get better, it is almost like he purposely brings me back down again. and of course being that he drinks so much, he can use the alcohol for an excuse for anything that he does. and he always does use that excuse. oh i was drunk, i dont remember, i was drunk thats why i did it. you get the picture. i am really angry at him, and it is definetly bordering on hate. when he called me and finally (after me trying to get an answer out of him for a week) told me that he wasnt coming back, i hated him at that moment, and i told him that. i am really starting to feel like that again. oh, and in case you couldnt tell from my rantings that i have been doing, he hasnt called me back yet. (from my message on thursday)