My Real Age

Here is the update on everything.

So far I have been succeeding in resisting the temptation to contact HIM because I am establishing that there is just no point in doing that. Amazingly enough he has not contacted me any further then the times that I have mentioned. Which the last time was last Friday night which he didnt leave me a message and he called me very late. So apparently if he didnt leave a message he didnt need or want me to call back. But even though I am not contacting him he is still with me. He is with me in my dreams, last night I know that I had a dream with him in it, I just cant remember what the dream was about. Which is probably a good thing, because if I remembered it would probably just have made me more depressed.

I cant figure out the reason why this is still so upsetting and depressing to me, the only thing that I can think of is that my life sucks at least in my mind, isnt that great. One of the major factors is my husband, if he acted like a normal husband, where I didnt have to worry about his employment, paying the bills, or him treating me bad. Because even though he has never touched me, the way that I am treated with him is horrible. Dont get me wrong there are random moments where he is nice to me, but those are very few and far between. He was so bad on Sunday that I just found myself asking him a lot, why do you have to be angry all the time, and why are you always yelling and finding something to be upset about. his answer is always because i am under a lot of stress. so am i, but i dont act like that.

I took a life age test today at http://www.realage.com/ where they tell you how old you really are from you answering a lot of different questions. They told me that I was at least 5.5 years older then I really am, and that if I didnt change my lifestyle that was going to get worse. I am going to get to be even more older then I already am. Which I find very horrible. so knowing everything and the way that it usually goes for me, i am sure that by time i am 30, then it will say that i am like 40 or 45 because of my life is. so as if i dont usually feel old enough, i have something confirming for me that i am older then i really am. wonderful.