Aaaahhhhh, He Said I Love You....

and it wasnt during or after sex, like women usually here it. i was i'ming with the guy tonight and he were just casually talking, about what we were going to be doing tomorrow night. he said that we might go bowling with his brother and a few other friends, and then do something else afterward, and that he would let me know exactly what we were doing during the day. and then he asked me if i loved him, and i was coy and asked him who we got on that subject, and he said that he wasnt sure, so i said that he didnt love me so i wasnt answering him, so then he asked what made me think that, and i said that last time he didnt say anything about that. so then he said honestly do you, so then i said that i wanted him to answer first, and then he said that he was getting there fast. and i answered that i can honestly say that i have strong feelings for you, and that i am definetly getting there quickly....and he said that he could sense that, so i said oh crap is it that noticeable, and he laughed and winked. so then i said that i cld tell with him too, and asked him if he was going to run. and he said no cause he thought that i loved him, so i said think about me a lot, he said everyday, and then i said me too, we got it bad, and then he said i think so. and then he said that he thought it was safe to say i love you, and i said i think so too, and then he said it like 2 or 3 times after that, just saying i love you with nothing else either before or after it, and then he said that he was going to get off, and that he would try to be back in a little bit(and he said bye by saying, bye baby, love you, that was about an hour ago, and if he doesnt come back soon, and i sign off, i am not even that concerned about it, i am sure that he will contact me in some way tomorrow just like he said that he would be. i am just so in shock right now it isnt even funny, i wasnt and dont think that i am ready to hear that right now. i guess the best thing to say is that it is weird to me right now. i dont know what to think. i am scared of committment maybe and what this means. not that it really means a committment, i dont think. i dont know what to think. i guess what it was is that i was not prepared to here this from him. he doesnt seem like the type, unless i have really knocked him on his ass in love or something like that. first i was thinking that he was avoiding me, and now this. talk about your roller coaster. i guess i am just going to follow this through and see what happens. i was just completely not expecting this right now, that is for sure.

my husband did something suspicious today, i happened to be outside when he was coming from work, and saw him walking on the opposite side of the road from where he is supposed to be working. so i said something to him about it and he claimed that he was visiting a friend of his that lives there, which is a guy. i dont know if i believe him or anything like that, it just seems weird to me. but whatever let him do whatever he wants i suppose, i basically do anyway. it was still just weird though. i just hope that he isnt doing anything that can get himself into trouble because that would really upset me. because that isnt what he (or us) needs right now. i guess we will just see about that. i am going to have to watch him a little bit more closely it seems.

i am getting more and more worried about this procedure and how it is going to feel, and of even more of course what the results are going to be, and what they are going to mean to me. so i am getting even more and more nervous about that. i have been in the mood lately that because of everything i dont feel like talking to anyone or seeing anyone except for a choice few. other then that i dont really feel like it.