A Short Blog On How Men Suck

this isnt going to be a long blog because i really dont have that much to say. my husband noticed that i had been in his phone and was upset with me about it. so i basically accused him of cheating on me and he claimed that he wasnt that was just a his friends girlfriend who was calling him to help his friend out, or something like that. i dont really believe him, i mean i guess it is an excuse and could be likely, but i really dont know, we havent had sex in like 2 months now, and his money disappears what else should i think. so basically that was that, he was claiming that i was crazy for even thinking that, and he was mad at me for looking at my phone. then my son later on at night, had to say something to my husband about my boo-boos and then he got all mad at me again, like it was really something that i could control, and not something that i cant. and he was saying that he was going to drag me to the therapist, he didnt want to be with someone who did this, blah blah, all threats, not anything that he would act on, because he doesnt care enough to. which is fine, cause i will deal with it on my own. just like i always have, he just doesnt understand it, and never will. which he also admits that he doesnt understand it. as for the baby thing with my husband, maybe it is just insanity but if i get an okay bill of health after this test is done that i can do that, and if the thing with the guy doesnt work out (see below) i am seriously considering doing it with my husband. honestly he will be a sperm donor and that will be how i will view it, because i dont expect him to really do anything for the baby, or take care of the baby financially just like he didnt take care of my son when we were seperated. i dont know it is just a weird thing, it is like i hear my biological clock ticking in my head, and i am thinking that i should have a baby while i still can. cause i am thinking that in the future i wont be able to. i do think that it is a dumb idea to have a baby with my husband, i dont know. it is probably insanity talking and i will kick myself in the butt soon for even thinking about it. and then i would have to actually have sex with his cheating self. at least i think he is anyway he is still denying it. like i said it is probably me just being insane.

then of course the guy hasnt contacted me since friday night which honestly doesnt even surprise me at all, i wasnt really expecting him to do it even though he said that he would. i am going to let him have his time, work, do whatever he wants to do, and i am not going to bring anything up, if he is the one that chooses to end this, and that is what he wants to do, that will be entirely his decision i am not going to bring it up. let him do his thing. and like i had said before the only thing that i will do is say that i think it is a mistake because of we get along and also that i will not take him back again. and that will be it, no begging or pleading cause i will never do that for a guy. i am going to let him contact me next, i am not going to contact him, let him start contacting me again, i am not going to chase him. so lets see how much time he is going to let go by, so far it has been 2 days.