Is He Cheating?

i am wondering now if my husband is cheating on me, and it isnt the fact of him having sex or being with someone else other then me that really bothers me, it is the idea that he must be spending his money on this person rather then spending it on me. because he has gone through over 200 dollars in the past 2 weeks, on basically nothing, except cigarettes and beer, which definetly doesnt cost that much. so that would mean that he is spending all his money on this women, which aggravates me, because he is always trying to get money out of me, and he doesnt give me and of his money or spend any on me. of course i cant be judgemental about the whole cheating and him thing, because of what i have done of course, it is just the money thing that bothers me, and also the fact that it is how he treats me, and is with me that has driven me to do what i do/did. and that there shouldnt be anything that i have done to drive him to it. now here is the reason that i am suspicious, i have of course been suspicious lately because of the money disappearing, but tonight he was home, went to bed to sleep at like 7pm, and i saw his phone sitting on the counter recently, and picked it up, it had 3 voice mail messages and one text. and the text said call me, and the three messages said what you dont return calls, then another one was like call me i am leaving work at this time, then the other one said something like call me so we can work something out. so i honestly dont know what to make of those, it is a female of course, who he obviously most know well because she didnt leave her name in any of the messages. so i honestly dont know that is the only angle that i can come up with for this. because it was a female and she wanted to get a hold of him really bad. i am not going to say anything to him, if he notices that the messages were lisitened to on his phone, and says something to me then i will probably say something, but other then that i am not even going to go there. because i guess that i really shouldnt be the first one to throw the stone either, it is just a little upsetting to me that is all. especially being that he is using all his money on this bimbo. i am sure that is what it has to be. what else could it be?

my kids drove me nuts today, didnt listen to anything that i said, were horrible, hyper, absoluetly incredible, they were getting on my last nerve, and i swear i was really ready to flip out. luckily when i got home (we went to kmart shopping, took them to mcdonalds for lunch, met my parents, and let them play, and also went to borders shopping) my husband was home, and i told him to basically start handling them, because i couldnt. so at least he took over for a little while and did that, that is until he went to sleep at 7pm, i am so glad that i was home tonight, for all that he whined at times the past couple of saturday nights that i went out, he sleeps on this one and doesnt even pay attention to me, go figure.

havent heard from the guy at all today, that is what i had figured that would happen though, it doesnt really surprise me anymore, i have been resigning myself to the fact that this will be happening lately, and that is that. if he really wanted for this to happen, he could make it happen, but the problem is that it isnt even his schedule or my schedule like he had said it was before, it is the fact that he had lost his place, and doesnt really have anywhere that we can just go and relax like we used to before. and that he doesnt have any money for us to go out all the time. at least that is what he said after he said about the schedule thing, so i think that is his really reason, and not the schedule thing, that could be worked around if he really wanted to. well, like i said before if that is his decision that is it, and their will be nothing that i can/ or will do about it. the only thing that i will do is let him know that the way that we get along that is an incredibly stupid decision and that once he does it, that is it, i will not come back to him again. i have a guy or two that has been after me on the internet, with i'm ing, trying to talk to me and everything, but honestly i am not really interested, if it doesnt work out with this guy, then i am seriously considering being completely with my husband and having a baby with him, not because i am happy with him at all, but if all this turns out okay for the moment with my health, i want to have another baby while i can, and then that will be it. it is probably a stupid idea, and it might not even happy now though with this whole cheating thing, cause i am not going to do him with him doing someone else that is for sure. i havent had sex with him in months, not since i got back with the guy anyway, cause that is one thing i wont do is screw more then one guy during the same time period, that is just wrong. i dont know, the more i think about the baby idea with my husband is a dumb idea, cause i am sure that we will end up splitting and then i will be left with 3 kids to take care of by myself, but i as long as i am able to have another baby, i want to before that option is taken away from me, and as long as my health checks out and this guy dumps like it is looking like will happen, then that option will be available. i dont know, right now i am a big jumbled emotional depressed anxious stressed out person. who wants really just to curl up in a ball, and not have to think or worry about anything.