The Destruction Update

well my husband came home from work, and luckily he wasnt that pissed. which was good. i think there was two major things that softened him up. the first thing was that he had never liked that pull up shade blind that was there anyway, because it never did work quite right. and also after i told him my daughter was there, and she said to him daddy why are we getting rid of the dog. and he said why do you want to get rid of him. and she said in like this little voice, no. so he said well i never said we were going to. so long story short, we arent going to get rid of him right now, but if he messes anything else up he is in serious trouble.

i have been having dreams again that i am remembering, and i havent woken up and remembered a dream in a long time. and what is weird is that the dreams are always along the same lines. this time the dream was where talking about when was the best time to move my things and i was talking to HIM and he suggested a day and i said no that wouldnt be a good day because my husband would be there. so we started talking about other days. the idea was that i would be moving in somewhere with HIM again. the last time that i talked to HIM was on wednesday night, and i am not planning on calling him unless he calls me first like last time. i am trying to distance myself from him. and i am pretty sure that from the way that our conversation was and the underlying tones that i had in my voice when i was talking to him, that he wont be calling anytime soon, which is good. i need to get some distance. and make us further and further apart. there is no point in torturing myself with something that he has time and time again told me wont happen.

my husband has a replacement 2nd job to replace the first one that he got fired from on thursday night. it is supposed to be starting for him on thursday. so that is good. i just hope that this one lasts. this morning he made a mistake, a pretty bad one at his only job that he has right now, and he thought that they were going to fire him. so he was getting ready to just quit. so i had to talk him into staying. and it turned out that his mistake was fixed, and it really wasnt that much of a big deal. i just am having such a hard time dealing with all this stress. i shouldnt have to constantly worry about making sure that he has his jobs and that his bills are going to get paid. that is something that i have never had to worry about before, i wish that i didnt have to worry about it now.