"Destined to deceive her, he's the wrong kind of paradise, shes gonna know it in a matter of time"

sung by Trisha Yearwood "Walkaway Joe"

havent heard from HIM since wednesday night when i finally got tired of him calling and texting him 2 days in a row. not that i am surprised by that, i am trying to be happy about it, because that is what i need. (not what i want). what i want is for everything to back to the way that it was like in aug of last year, but that of course is never going to happen. even if me and him werent having problems when the hurricane came and blew away our house, he still would have been in another state on vacation at that time. and when he didnt have a house to come back to, i dont know what he would have done. he might have done the same thing that he did. i guess that i will never know now.

my husband has made me exceed the stress level that i had the yesterday because of him. now not only did he get fired from his night job on i think it was last thursday night. he supposedly has a new night job that he is supposed to be starting at this coming thursday which means that for his night job he is going to be short a weeks worth of pay. and now he said that his day job doesnt have him on the schedule again until saturday night. so that is very not good, because that means that he will be short a weeks worth of pay from that one too. so this is really not good. even though he said that the day job said that they might a scheduling error, and that they would fix it, and probably need him other days. i really hope so. ever since he came home tonight, he has been really weird. he said that it is just his back and head hurting him, but it is something more, i can tell. he is very hyper, isnt sitting still, then if he is still, he is laying down, not moving. so i kept asking what was wrong, and he finally said that he was a little stressed because he was working a lot slower then he used to, and he wasnt sure why. so i asked him if maybe it could be a couple of different things, but he wouldnt even let me finish. and just kept saying now i dont want to talk about it. and that was it, he wont talk about it anymore. which is so aggravating. if he isnt doing good at work, that affects me too, because not good at work=fired, fired=no money to pay bills. no money to pay bills=no home. again. i really dont want to play with that. why cant life ever be simple?

update on my grandmother, she is out of the hospital, i picked her up friday night, and drove her home, then today i went to the grocery store and bought her somethings and brought them to her. she doesnt have cancer like they were thinking, she just had a nerve issue. which is defnetly way better then having cancer. my best friend isnt doing that good, i called to check on her today, and her relatives said that she isnt doing good at all, she cant even drink water without throwing it back up, and she has been having chills and fever. evidentally she isnt recovering as quickly as she thought that she would from this gastric bypass. they said that they were taking her to the doctors tomorrow, so i will have to call tomorrow night and see what the doctor said. i will update tomorrow hopefully.