Would Haves, Should Haves, And Could Haves

okay so i know that i havent written in a few days, and i have just been busy and involved in several things, that i havent had a chance too. i have been really worried about thing lately, it is really weighing on my mind. for the past like week and a half, or more, my boobs have been hurting me. and i dont mean aching hurting, i mean ow ow owwwww hurting. which is unusual for me, i dont usually get that feeling. so now i am doing the whole oh god, could i be pregnant thing, oh no, shoot me, that would be like one of the most horrible things at least this month and cycle. because i havent you know, only been with my husband this month. i was only with him like once i think, maybe twice, once i had established in my mind that me and the dominican guy were done. and i didnt have sex with them on the same day, or even in the same few days. i didnt even really want to have sex with my husband period, but hey what can i say. primal needs kicked in. so anyway, i ended up having sex with them both the same month. so now i am freaking out about this. i have been taking my birth control every single day this month, didnt miss a day, and also didnt take any medicine that would have messed up how effective that it would be. so i dont really think that i could be pregnant. but i am wondering if i am not pregnant then why this is happening to me. that is the only reason that i can come up with. i wouldnt mind as much being pregnant, under any other circumstances, but under these circumstances, i cant be, i just cant. that would be way too much drama, cause then it would be opening up a huge issue, with parentage, me being possibly homeless that sort of thing. so lets keep our fingers crossed that i get my period in the next couple of days like either tomorrow or wednesday so i can stop thinking about this. and next time, i am going to be a lot more careful and think about what i do first. and also not sex with two different guys the same month. so if i come out of this okay, i will have learned a very valuable lesson. especially being that me and the guy arent even talking to each other anymore, not that we were really talking much then but anyway. i could just see me having to call my friend, and tell her to tell him that i am pregnant and it is his. oh god, that would be horrible. i did talk to that friend the i think it was yesterday, and she was asking when i was going to come over and see her and spend time with her again. i think that she is getting lonely. she said that she started working again which is good. she said that i didnt have to come when the guy was there and see him, that i could come when he wasnt there during the day, like on the weekends when she isnt working. so we said that i was going to go there on this coming saturday morning watch her kids, or at least one of them while she went to work for a few hours, and then we were going to hang out in the afternoon. hopefully my kids are pretty well behaved, because they are of course going to be with me too. but that sounds nice. okay, so about what i was talking about last time. the 40.00 that my husband lent his friend never did get paid back. as i figured and had a feeling that would happen. the friend never did come back with the money that night to give it back to him, and he never did show up to work the next day he actually got fired for stealing. and of course the guys phone was disconnected, he never called him back or anything, and the 500.00 check that he had given him when my husband tried to cash it, the account was closed so there went that. so there you go. i could have told you that. he did end up giving me the 100.00 that he said that he was going to, so that was good. never did end up doing the hotel thing with that guy, i told him friday morning like he had told me that i could, that i was going to be able to do it for saturday night, so he said okay that he would get the hotel room. so i didnt hear anything from him after that. i contacted him that night cause i didnt hear from him, and he said that he was looking for the room. so i went onto the hotel room site that i had been to once or twice before, and they had them available and werent that expensive. so i texted him again and told him about that and how much that it was, and that they had rooms available. so he never texted me back that night at all, and never even answered me. so anyway, that saturday afternoon i texted him to say that if he didnt let me know what was going on, i was going to make other plans, so he texted me back that all the rooms were booked, so i texted him back and said even the one i told you about, and he didnt answer and that was it. i know that place had rooms available, so he was just making excuses because something came up, or he didnt want to anymore whatever. i am done with him, he has frustrated me enough with all this crap, i dont want to even bother anymore. well i did a lot this three day holiday weekend, to make a long story short, on saturday morning i went to my ex's house did some stuff for him (no not that stuff, eww) then we went for lunch with him, then went to walmart and bj's and did some major shopping. then saturday night, i wasnt able to get anyone to go out with, so i went to the movies by myself (that was pathetic, but i didnt want to stay home), then brought home mcdonalds, and ate with my husband then we went to sleep. then yesterday me, my parents, and the kids went to the zoo, and that was nice. didnt get to that much there because we got lost on the way, and it was really hot, but we were there for like three hours and the kids had fun. then when we got home i took them in the pool to cool off, then my friend came over and we dyed our hair and hung out for a little bit. then today, we went to publix did some shopping, then came home and barbequed and had a lot of food. then i got incredibly tired all the sudden, took a little nap, then took the kids to the pool again. so they had fun in there too. i am not going to put up the pictures from the weekend yet, cause it is getting late but i will put them up maybe tomorrow, if i have a chance.