Perfect Freaking Timing

my stupid insurance changed the copays on my medications that i have been taking, and raised them at least 30-40 dollars more per medication per month. so of course i cant afford that, so i had to stop taking them. one of the medications is for my asthma, so of course i an asthma attack in the middle of the night last night that woke me up out of my sleep. and then the other medication is for my depression, which is just great. i started taking that, and it seems like everything is coming down on me and getting me so upset lately. and everything seems to be going on. of course that could be because i dont have the medication to help me anymore, who knows. i have no choice though, that medication there is no substitute for, so i would have to get myself used to a whole different medication, and go through the same crap in the beginning that i did with this one. the asthma medication i tried to get the pharmacy to fax the request to her like she had said that they could to fill them for me, but they said that because i have never had them filled there before, they couldnt do that and that i would have to call my doctors office, so i called my doctors office, and told them that and the medications. and they said that they would give it to the doctor. so the doctor did finally end up calling it in to the pharmacy but without the dosage so the pharmacy cant fill it and has to call him tomorrow about it, and also for the medication that i was taking, i need to be on a combination of two medications to equal the one asthma medication and he only called in the one which he had screwed up. so i have to call his office up tomorrow about that too, so needless to say i still dont have any medication for my asthma. so i hope that i am okay with that for tonight at least and dont have another asthma attack. when i had the one last night in the middle of the night, and was coughing and gasping for breathe, my dumb ass husband told me to shut up that i was bothering him. then when i was upset with him tomorrow because of it, he claimed that he had no idea what i was talking about because he was sleeping. yeah okay. sure.

then of course there is me and this guy, dont want to say i am dating him or even "seeing" him because we cant communicate at all. it isnt like i could call him up and make plans to see him or anything like that. and the friend of mine that he is staying with, has her own like major issues so she doesnt seem to want to be the translator. so since monday night when we saw each other last (and of course screwed each others brains out) we have just been saying hi to each other back and forth through her, and that is it. i dont really know, i can just tell that this isnt happening. it figures i meet a guy who the sex is awesome with, is young, really really really hot, nice incredible body, and he only speaks like 5 words of english so we cant communicate. and he also is staying with my friend right now, doesnt have a place of his own, and her husband is supposedly coming home sometime soon too. it really freaking figures. and then to make it even better, my husband just told me today that he got a different night job, supposedly making more money and at a better restaurant but that he will be working thurs, friday and saturday nights which really sucks for me. because there goes my nights out, not i cant go out at all those nights. and those are the only nights that i would really go out, because i dont have to go to work the next day. if i do go out any other night, then i am incredibly tired the next day, and cant hardly function. like when i was out monday night, and didnt get home until 1am, and went to sleep at 1:15am and then got back up at 6:30am. so i guess it doesnt even matter what goes on with this guy or not, because it isnt like i will be able to see him or anything anyway. because if i went out one night during the week, i couldnt leave until 8pm, get there at maybe 8:30pm if i am lucky, and then i would have to leave again at like what 11:30pm, just so that maybe i could get home for like 12:15am and get at least 6 hours of sleep before work the next day. so that doesnt really sound good to me, and then i would still not have enough sleep. my husbands answer to me being upset that i wouldnt be able to go out at all was saying that he knew someone who knew a few babysitters, and that with him making that kind of money that we could have a babysitter stay so i could go out. but that would cost a hell of a lot of money too, if i leave at like 8pm and dont get back til 2am or so. that is over 6 hours. and then who knows if you can even trust the person, or if he even really knows someone or if they would do it, because he always talks and nothing happens. so i dont know about that. i am just so frustrated with all of this and upset. of all the times that i had to stop taking my depression medication, this is not good timing. my boss said something to me about something that she had told me to do a certain way, because i had specifically asked her about it, and then it was given back to me stating that i needed to fix it because it wasnt done the right way. so i was frustrated about that, becuase if that was the case then why did i even ask her, if i was going to have to do it over again anyway. so i was so upset that i almost started to cry, i am just getting so upset and frustrated with everything.

my sons birthday party is another thing that i am getting really upset, aggravated, depressed, frustrated, you name it. it should be all going well you would think. i am having the place do it, so that i dont really have to plan or do anything other then pick up the cake that my son wants, and then just invite people and they show up and we show up. that is it. simple right? wrong. seems like nothing can ever be simple for me. i invited a total of 8 kids, 2 of which are my kids. so that is 6 other kids that are not mine, that i need i need to try to invite and then see if they are coming. so far (and the party is only 2 days away) i got one no i cant go i just found out i have to work (i just got that answer today) and i got one yes i am definetly going. the other 4 kids, i have one i am not sure i will give you a call back, i didnt get that call back, so i called them back, and they still said that they didnt know and would have to give me a call back again. (which they never gave me the first one) then i got another answer of as long as i have money to put gas in my car and get down there, then i got another answer of as long as my baby isnt still sick and is feeling better. i honestly dont know how complicated it is to give a yes or no answer, and not make the person who is trying to plan the party and know how much money that it is going to cost have everything figured out. so that is why i am so upset, frustrated, you get the picture with that. one little piece of good news is that me and my friend who i go out with sometimes for a girl night, i know her from work, are supposed to be going out together tomorrow night, so that should be nice, i am looking forward to it. i hope that it is relaxing and nothing goes wrong. especially being that the way that it appears right now (which i hope isnt the case) is that it may be my last time being able to go out on a weekend night with my husband staying home and watching the kids (which means i dont have to pay anyone, which is of course if i could even find someone that i could trust with my kids.) so i just hope that everything goes okay and it is a nice night. okay time for me to try to get some sleep and hope that i dont have another asthma attack tonight.