I Am Glad That I Have Friends

i know that i can complain and whine about my friends and my life and how i dont really have much of a life or even have that many people that i get alongn with. and also when i get in one of my moods i dont really want to be bothered by anyone, and taht includes my friends. but sometimes i have to say that i really appreciate my friends, and am very grateful that i have them. i had a not good day too, and got very upset, frustrated, and majorly depressed. to start with last night my daughter brought home a packet of about 7 pages of math problems front and back that needed to be done and returned by monday said the note from the teacher because she didnt complete them in class all week. so i asked my daughter why she didnt do it in class, and she claimed that she didnt understand how to do them, and when she had asked the teacher for help the teacher had said for her to figure it out for herself. so i dont know if i completely believe what my daughter said or not because i have caught her in many lies before but regardless of the situation why would the teacher have waited for 5 days of work to pile up and then to give it to her to do, and have returned in two days over the weekend when people have plans to do things. so last night i just left it because we didnt get home until later and me and her were both tired. then this morning i had to take my son to the doctor to get his four year old checkup, and get a shot and everything else there. and they didnt of course take us for an hour of us sitting in the waiting room, me and both of the kids there, and they of course starting to get antsy because we were there for so long, and then they started driving me nuts. so finally we got finished there, met my parents at mcdonalds, and had lunch, the kids were starving because they didnt really have a big breakfast. so we ate there, i told them to take a nap and lay down, which they did lay down, wouldnt fall asleep and just got right back up. so me having a splitting headache since i woke up, laid down and maybe got an hour and a half or two hour nap, woke back up, started to make dinner. so we pulled out her pages of math, and started to work on them, she was incredibly cranky and irritable kept throwing a fit whenever i would tell her that one of her answers were wrong and try to go over it with her, she would argue with me saying it wasnt wrong. it was a nightmare. so at one point i called her dad, to ask him to talk to her, so instead of helping. he was saying that i was a bad parent, i didnt take the time with her, i didnt help her,i was more concerned about everything else other then her, etc. he really went off on me, and made me feel like the worst mother ever. i only have an hour and a half from the time that i get home from work during the week until the time that she goes to bed, i have to make them dinner, they have to eat dinner, get them ready for bed, etc. what does he expect. so anyway, he went off on me and off on me, all night really upsetting me, calling me back, irritating me, and making me really depressed. and what made it even worse was that i told him and i was hysterical crying that he was making me really upset and depressed and he just kept right up, he didnt even care. so next time that he says that he loves me and cares for me, yeah right, kiss my ass. not like i ever believed him anyway, but still what a jackass. so anyway. as for my daughter and her stupid freaking homework, the way that she was acting and how she was working, we only got one complete page done, so now there are still 6 more to go. that i am going to have to try my best to have her get done tomorrow, so there goes my nice relaxing sunday and weekend. ohhh, i cant stand her teacher for piling it all up and then giving it to her at once. so anyway, finally i gave up and put her to bed, with her screaming for about 2 minutes until she fell asleep, because i suppose that she was overtired. (i know why she was overtired, she for some reason woke up with my son, or woke him up too i dont know, at 5am this morning, playing and making a lot of noise, and then she wouldnt go back to sleep or take a nap today). so anyway, i put her to bed. and then her dad was still calling me and harrassing and upsetting me, that is when i was crying almost hysterically asking him to just stop and leave me alone. he was saying so many horrible things to me like everything i said above, and then also that it was my fault that everything was like this, this was how i chose to live, and also that i coudld just sign over my rights to her and let him have her. so after all of that i got really worked up and depressed, especially being that i had already been upset before about the fact that i am not able to stay home with them, and i really feel that i need to, and then he is going and saying all of these things, really made me feel bad. one of my friends (the only one that came to my sons birthday party, but i am not really close to her, and she is a stay at home mother so like she would have understood) texted me during this, and was trying to talk to me and ask what was wrong and if i wanted to talk, but i told her that it was okay, i would be alright. even though i wasnt but i didnt want to talk to her about it. then another one of my friends (who i am closer to, the one from work that i would go out with on my girls nights out, which the way things are now lord knows when i am going to be able to have another one of those, but however, we did agree that being that we both need our hair dyed again that she was going to come over my house on saturday night and do our hair and everything, i really hope that does happen, but being that this is the first time that she would be over my house, i dont know if it will.) honestly even if i would have had a sitter or someone to watch the kids i probably still would have wanted her to come over to my house, because she is like at least a half hour away, and i have always gone down to her to go out for the night, go to her house and dye our hair, or something like that, she has never come up to me. and the same with other friends of mine, but that is another subject, not for right now.) anyway, this other friend from work send me a cute picture of her pet with a squeaky toy which was soo cute and funny. so i called her to let her know that i had gotten it, and she started asking me what was wrong, and we talked for a while, like maybe 20 minutes and she made me feel better, saying that was untrue what he was saying, and how dare he say that anyway, and when i was getting upset he should have stopped. she just made me feel better telling me that i shouldnt worry about it, and that it wasnt true. she completely helped me change my mood some. which i needed. i mean i am still a little upset about it, but nothing like what i was. so that is why i said that i am glad that i have friends. and what is funny is that when i was really upset i was going to call her originally but i didnt want to bother her with my problems and she said that next time i should call her, and talk to her, because that is what friends are for. so that made me feel better too. so after we were done talking, and she didnt get off the phone til she made sure that i was better, my other friend the one that i had said that i didnt want to talk about it, texted me a funny forwarded message, saying that she thought that it would make me feel better. which was nice too. so now tomorrow i am not looking forward to at all, i am sure that her father is going to call me, and i really hope that he is going to not harrass me anymore, he hung up on me after yelling at me the last time and didnt call back thank god. then i also have to finish those 6 stupid pages of her work with her, go grocery shopping, do loads of laundry, so it doesnt sound like it is going to be a relaxing day that is for sure.

about what i was saying earlier, about how i dont want to travel to anymore, i think that it is everyone else's turn now. i have been spending way to much money in gas, and putting way to much mileage on my car doing it all, always going to everyone elses house, and i dont want to do it right now, i have had my turn now it is all of theirs. i hadnt heard from my friend that the guy was staying with for a few days, so i texted her to say hi and see what was going on. she said that her car was fixed but that her husband kept taking it and she didnt know where he was going, but that it wastnt to work because he doesnt have a job. oookkkkayyyy...anyway. so that is probably the reason why i hadnt heard from her in a few days was because the car was fixed, and she didnt need me to give the guy a ride from work or anything who knows. if happens to ask (on his behalf) when i am going to come over again, i am going to just say that i dont have the gas (or money) to make the trip and see what they say. probably nothing cause he doesnt have a car, and besides what would happen once they got up here, its not like me and him could do anything up here, cause that is the one thing that i dont do, is shit where i sleep so to speak. and anyway, i dont think that i want to do that. in my mind i am pretty much done with him i suppose, i guess that it was just a fling, i cant imagine it continuing anymore, i guess it is over in my mind now. it was good while it lasted i suppose, and he was awesome, but unfortunately there is more then just sex. i sort of regret hooking up with him, because other then the actual time that i was there being good, nothing else came out of it. as for what made me hook up with him, i suppose that it was looking for love or loving, or affection that i just wasnt getting from anywhere else. that is the only guess that i can come up with. who knows. anyway, as far as the travelling thing, the same thing goes for the other friend, that i would go out with on my girls nights out, and i would always pick her up and drive us around, and also when we dyed our hair i went to her house. so i think that it is her turn now, which is when we were talking about dying our hair next weekend, and she said something about me coming over her house, i corrected her really quick and told her that she could come over to my house. because her husband only works like one night a week now, so it isnt like she wouldnt have a car that she could use as long as he didnt have any plans. so i dont know, i just dont want to be driving all over anymore, i am just getting tired of always being the one to do that. and i cant afford it either. so we will see what happens with how all of that goes.