It Can Never Be Just All Good News

there always has to be some bad news too. here is what i am talking about, the last time that blogged in here, it was wednesday. well today is sunday and a lot has happened since then. starting from the beginning, we went out again thursday night, he was 5 minutes early i was on time, and we ate dinner went to his place and had a really nice time. the really nice time got me a little stressed though, because instead of having the protection that protects against everything like i had planned, we were only able to rely on my b-control because we had issues with the other item that we were planning on using. so that brings me to the geez i hope that he has no diseases, even though he says that he cant because the few people that he has been with he hasnt used protection with. so lets hope that is true. we are both still planning on getting tested, and making sure that everything is okay with both of us. being with him that way, is pretty earth-shattering most of time, he really gets me turned on and does it for me. more turned on then i have felt in a year that is for sure, excluding of course that one time in january. so anyway, thursday night was damn good, great even. and then we saw each other last night, he did upset me a little bit last night though, because i was supposed to call him on his cell and let him know when i was on his way. and that should have been it. that wasnt the way that it worked, instead, i called him at least 10 times on his phone he didnt answer, i tried for like 15-20 minutes, on the last try he finally answered his phone, and i went over there. so that frustrated me a little bit, and he wasnt really that apologetic about it either, which got me even more upset. anyway, he showed me which window was his, and told me to knock on it when i was there if he was sleeping so that i could wake him up for him to let me in. not that i am that happy with that, but i guess that could resolve that problem if it ever happens again. it was a nice time though, we did more of the same, it was good again, we did it several times, can you say energizer bunny? and it was very enjoyable, even better is the way that he treats me and acts around me, he really makes me feel appreciated, cared for, and taken care of. and still i have been talking to him everyday with some form (either phone or i'm that i dont see him). which is nice. and we had one of the talks about what to classify whatever it is that we have. first we established that we would clarify it as dating, because that is what we have been doing. then last night we had i guess a continuation of the talk that we had, and we established that this is a relationship, because we are both dating each other and dont want to date other people. so i guess that i am in a relationship. that is interesting, i think i like it though :)
it is nice, i feel really appreciated and taken care of, not that i am with someone who really doesnt give a shit. like i have been feeling lately. the interesting thing though is that with me going out and everything, my husband (if you want to call him that, it is in name only) has been paying a lot more attention to me lately. and the past 2 times that i was out has even been waiting up for me, and making sure that i was okay while i am out. which is disturbing because it figures now he is acting like he gives a shit. but it seems that the only reason that he has been acting like that is because he suspects that something is going on, he just cant prove it. because he said that if he found out that i was going out with guys, that he would be very upset with me. which is amusing, (well not amusing, a little disturbing too) because he hasnt given a shit about me or anything like that in so long, and now he cares? not really, i bet that it is just the thing, that even though he doesnt seem to want me or care about me he doesnt want me to be with anyone else, or be happy with anyone else. which is what i am right now, i am happy with him. and i just hope that everything goes okay now though, especially with my so called husband being suspicious, and it has only been almost a week that we have been dating. well, i guess that i just need to make sure that he doesnt have any proof that is all, because he can be suspicious all he wants but unless he can prove something, that doesnt mean anything. i am not sure when the next time is that i am going to be seeing him right now. i think as of right now we are pretty definite on going out friday night, but then from then til now the only other day that i am really available is tomorrow night, after i get my nails done which would be about 8:30pm, but he said that he had to work and wasnt sure when he would be done, and that he would have to call me and let me know. so i told him to call him before my appt is done and tell me, and he said that
he could do that. the only other day that i could have went out (this is based on my so called husbands work schedule) would have been thursday, and thurs versus friday i would rather go out friday because i dont have to worry about getting up at 6am for work the next day. so he said that he didnt see why not. i wish that he would be able to give me a definite answer sometimes instead of being vague.

i found out something interesting last night, but i shouldnt have even been nosing around and looking for something because it just got me upset, the good thing is that it didnt get me as upset as it normally would have, maybe because i am happier than i was before, but it did get me a little upset. i looked at HIS my space and it said that he had been sober since july 5th, which i had seen that before, but apparently the reason behind that is because he was in the hospital for at least one night, and then he went into rehab and i think that he even went into this mediation retreat. of course, none of that could have happened when he was with me, of course not. and then there was something else on there about how he is getting a 3 bedroom so that all of the brothers can be together, and then there was also some great stuff on there about how his girlfriend wishes that they were living together right now, and that even though it could happen now, hopefully it would happen soon, or something like that. and that she loves him very much, i love reading that crap makes me feel great. i brought it on myself though because i shouldnt have even looked.