An Okay Sunday

today wasnt as relaxing as i had hoped that it would be, but it was definetly better than yesterday. no day is going to be that relaxing, considering i have a 3 year old and a 6 year old, and they love to fight with each other and get on each others nerves. but today was better though. first we went to publix, cause i had to get 3 things that i forgot there yesterday, returned the movies that i had gotten, then i took the kids to the park to play for about an hour and a half. and they had a lot of fun there. then we went home, i cooked dinner (i actually cooked all three meals today, that was exhausting), and then after that we had went for ice cream. came home and then we played games and watched tv until it was there bedtime. so they had a nice time today. i was in a pretty good mood yesterday, but tonight i am feeling off. maybe because today is sunday and i know that i have to work 5 days straight next week til i get any time off or a break in getting up at 6am. or maybe it is because i know that tuesday the 24th is the anniversary of the day that my life as i knew it got ripped from me without any choice on my part, or the fax that i know that wednesday the 25th (which i also happen to have a conference with my daughters teacher that day) is HIS birthday. which is going to bring back all sorts of memories. so this, memory wise at least, is going to be a bad week. and the silly thing is that even his phone number (or the other guys) are no longer in my phone, i still keep looking at my phone every morning when i wake up to see if he has called me, if his phone number is on the screen of my phone as a missed call. dumb huh? i think that if so much time has gone by that i havent heard from him or that he hasnt called me (it is almost 4 months) that i should just let it go, and not contact him like i was thinking about for his birthday. i know that he is alive and well, so if he is not contacting me there has to be a good reason for that. and that is, he doesnt want to. the longest after everything that happened that we didnt contact each other, was probably about a month and a half. the most. so like i said if he isnt contacting me now there is a good reason for that. and i need to get that through my head and just let that be. even though my daughter bugged me today, after not mentioning his name for a while, she had to mention his name and ask why he had left us. darned if i didnt have a good answer for her either. i just told her not to talk about him in front of my son, who doesnt seem to remember him anymore. i guess that he was too little. which is a very good thing. well, i guess when every other guy lately (or within the past year at least) has been kicking me to the curb, i guess i should just worry about the one that i have right now. cause he definetly gives me a lot to worry about that is for sure. like the aggravation if him blowing his paychecks, and having to take money out of my savings (that luckily he doesnt know that i have, even though it is dropping more and more rapidly especially after this) and pay his share of the bills. which we had agreed on originally that he would pay. one thing i really miss about HIM was how he would give me the money every month for his share of the bills, and i wouldnt have to worry about it, he always had it with no problems. that was great, i miss that. but there is no use in getting upset about that i guess, because he is not coming back. he seems to be way too happy sharing an apartment with his 2 brothers, one of them being his twin, and having a girlfriend who he has been with for a year now, (who he of course cheated on once with me, but anyway) and she seems to be looking forward to the time that they move in together. so yes, it is pretty damn serious. unlike me and my three night stand, i guess that you could call the guy who so wonderfully dumped me. she is only a baby compared to him, she is 5 years younger then him so maybe one of them will come to her senses, probably her first, because i am sure that she is the more mature out of them two of them, and probably will eventually end up wanting a man that is going somewhere and has goals, which unless something has dramatically changed with him that is something that he never had. anyway, enough ranting about him. my so called husband has hardly been around lately, or at least has hardly been around when i am which i suppose is good in some ways because i get to basically be single with my kids, because he is only home 2 nights a week when i am, and other then that either he is sleeping in (like in the morning on the weekends) or he is at work at night when i get home from work. i only see him for like 20 minutes before he leaves for work. which like i said has its good points, but it also has its bad points. because being alone, especially after my kids go to bed, and i am completely alone, is very depressing to me. i hate being alone, if it wasnt for my dog, it would be even worse, if that is possible. and this week he is going to have basically the same schedule again, and memory and emotional wise, this is probably going to be a really bad week for me. so that is really sucking right now. something interesting that i have came across, the guy (you know the one who basically blew me off) has taken every one of his like 6 pictures of his my space profile, even though he keeps logging into it everyday, and 2 days ago he updated his yahoo profile and erased every single thing that was on his profile, so that there is absoluetly nothing about him on there, no pictures of him either. weird, that is so weird is all that i can say. i have no idea what made him do that. unless what he was saying about how he didnt want a girl because he didnt want to put them through him never being around because of his job. there better not have been anything wrong with him like any diseases or anything or i swear i will flip out. i know i will, that is all that i need to add to my list of things that are making me want to flip out. never mind that some of them can kill you. aaaauuughhh. well, i figured that it was about time to change both of my profiles to single or seperated, not that i am looking for a guy at all, cause right now i am really frustrated and upset with them, but for some reason that i really cant define right now i want to put it that way. but anyway, i better stop ranting or i could be here all night, which i dont want to do, because i have to get up for work as usual tomorrow morning at 6am. here are some pictures from today:
these are pictures of the kids at the park:

then at home after dinner, while getting ready for to leave and go the ice cream shop: (dont know why the first one came out so fuzzy)

and here are 2 from outside the ice cream shop: