I Really Hate MEN

i hate men so much right now that i have put all my profiles that i have as either single not looking or in a relationship because i really just want all men to leave me alone. except of course for my husband (so called) or my daughters father, because i can never get rid of either of them at least not until their children that they have with me turn 18 years old. which i have another 15 years with my youngest one, and another 12 years with my oldest one. anyway, i am getting distracted from what i have to say. i dont know if i would word it that i got dumped by the guy that i have been seeing/dating/screwing (whatever) but i basically got blown off, and we arent going to see each other again because of his choice. he brought up the subject that he has an issue with the fact that i cant come and go as i please freely because i have my children. and that it is a real issue with him and that he has been thinking about it for the past week that we havent seen each other. so i reminded him that this week the reason for that was him, because i could have seen him 3 nights this week, mon (he said that he had to work late), friday (supposed food poisoning) and saturday (he said that he was tired). so he said that still, it was an issue with him. so i asked him why he would have even started getting involved with me, when we had this discussion ahead of time before we even met, and he said that it wouldnt matter to him or be an issue. so he said that he was thinking with his dick at the time and not his brain, and besides he didnt think that it would be an issue at the time. then he also said that he also found out that with his job he is going to be away for most of the rest of this year and also some of next year, so i asked him if that was the reason that he was doing this and he said no, that it was because of my kids and not being able to get out and be free constantly. so i said to him good luck finding someone to deal with his type of schedule, and he said that he wasnt even going to try and that he wouldnt expect anyone to deal with that. this is really upsetting me, i feel dumped again, and what sucks even more is that the reason that he is dumping me for is not only something that i cant and wont change, but that i talked to him about ahead of time and that he said that it wouldnt be an issue. so i am really upset about this, we were supposed to go out last night, and he did all this on the internet like 10 minutes before i was supposed to leave, and that was it, he ended it, i ended up not even going out then of course, which was something that i was looking forward to. so i of course was crying hysterically and very upset after this and my husband came home and i blamed it on him, and he said that he would change and be better because he didnt realize that this was upsetting me so much. so yeah right, when i see it i will believe it. but anyway, it just sucks because i could have pictured myself with him long term, and i was thinking about that. i am so depressed right now, it is horrible. i am done with men right now, i hate men, will they ever stop hurting me? can i ever find one that wont injure me sooner or later? i had plans with this one, i bought concert tickets ($65) for us for a concert in november that we were planning on going to, and he said that he had a christmas party in dec in orlando that he wanted me to go to. now i am stuck with 2 tickets, and i am going to try to find someone to go with me (not a guy, that is for sure) because i'll be damned if i am going to be lame enough to go by myself. and then to make matters even better, not only is my brain really messed up right now, cause i also keep flashing back to last october when i got dumped by the original ass HIM, (what is it about the month of october for me?) but my health sucks right now too. i called in to work this morning because i feel physically horrible, my head is killing me, throat, my ears feel like they are going to explode. so i called into work today, something i havent done for the 6 months that i have been working there (and the 4 months that i have officially been working there, and i also called this afternoon and said that i cant come in tomorrow too, i am going to go to my doctors tomorrow morning. i dont think that i am going to get paid for these 2 days that i have off, because i dont think that i have enough time for both of them, and i do know that this is going to be my very first ding with them because of days missed (you are only allowed 3 every 6 months). and being that i dont think that i am getting paid for all of this, it really sucks because i cant really afford to have this time off work. but what am i going to do? not only is my mind really messed up right, but physically i feel like shit too. right now i am going out of my way to avoid all men. on myspace it says that i am in a relationship and on my yahoo, it says that i am single, not looking, and i am logging on to my yahoo instant messenger as invisible. because i dont want any guys talking to me on it. especially the one that just hurt me. at the end of our wonderful conversation that we had, he said so can we still chat online or something like that, so i said fine if we happen to catch each other online, which will not happen. because even as i am typing this, he is online and available and i am invisible so that no one knows that i am online. and i am perfectly okay with that. i really dont want to be bothered by any men, least of all him, because i am hurt by the way that he dumped me for something that he swore he would be okay with. you know what is freaking great? october seems like it is just a bad month for me, and today is only the 9th, i have over 3 weeks to go before this month is done. just great.