The Night

okay, so last time that i wrote on here i was paranoid and thinking about last night, and what was going to happen. and he was frustrating me a little bit with what he was saying, and i was also wondering if it was going to be any good or night. so here is the details of the night and you can see what you think about it. we had been talking throughout the day yesterday, and in the end i had said that when i was leaving my house at 7:45 that i would call him, but that i would be at the hotel where we had agreed to meet at 8pm. and he said that so he would be able to get there at 8pm that he would leave his house at 7pm, cause he wanted to take his time and drive there slowly because he is now babying his car after everything that was fixed and everything. so i did as i had said, actually left my house on time, and called him at about 7:49 and asked him where he was, expecting him to say that he was around the corner from the hotel or something, instead he says that he is at home studying, and his house is at least 30-45 minutes from the hotel. so i was like thats just great, why are you still at home, and he basically said that because i had been a few minutes late (never 45 minutes or an hour though) that he had decided to wait until i had called him to leave his house. which makes absoluetly no sense. so i said to him fine, i am not going to sit in front of a hotel for like 45 minutes to wait for you, just call me when you are getting close because i am going to be going shopping. so i went to a clothes store that was close to the hotel, and went shopping, and then when he finally got there, about 45-55 minutes late, we went in to the hotel and got the room. (i, by the way, looked awesome if i have to say so myself, i was wearing a halter dress, open of course in the back, low in the front, short but not too too short, and it was black with high heeled sandals, and my hair was down of course)(he thought i looked awesome too) so we finally got the room, and walked in the room, and got a surprise, we had gotten the cheapest room that they had, which was basically you know bed, tv, bathroom, kitchen table, and thats it. when we walked in, we saw that they had given us a suite. so he like got upset and was like oh no, this isnt what we are supposed to get, blah, blah. he didnt know what to do. so i quite calmly called, and asked them about it at the desk, and they said that we had been upgraded which was really awesome, we ended up getting a hotel suite, which had two full bathrooms, living room, fully equipped kitchen, two double beds, it was actually two rooms put together, it was nice. it would have normally cost 80 dollars more then what we had gotten. so we were pretty impressed and happy about that. so, so far, so good, other then frustrating me by being late, he didnt really phase me that much or aggravate me. so we are just standing in the hotel room, and just looking at each other. ugh, it was awkward and weird. so finally i just looked at him, and said you are nervous arent you? and he admitted that he was a tiny bit, so that made me feel better because at least i wasnt the only one that was nervous. then he was saying that maybe we should eat dinner first, and i was thinking honestly, even though i dont think that i said it, lets do it know and get the nervous part out of the way. so anyway, we ended up having a long session at that time. he isnt really that big or wide, but he made up for that in skills in other ways, i dont think that i have ever had foreplay that lasted quite that long that at one point, i was ready to go crazy if i didnt have it in me, well you get what i am saying. so anyway, we did it, and it was good. i did have an orgasm which i was surprised by, because with protection and someone new that your bodies dont really know each other that well, it is usually hard. so i had one during that session if you want to call it that. he said that he had gotten close but he wasnt able to inside of me it seemed. he had to pull it out, and basically do it himself, which was a little strange. the amount of body strength that he has was amazing to me, he literally was lifting me up and holding me up for a while. so okay, anyway after that we were both satisfied and okay, so we took a shower together. nothing really happened in there, except for the fact that he started talking. and ended up majorly sticking his foot in his mouth really far. and getting me really upset. and almost ruined the night. he started saying first that he would be ready to move from where he is and into another place, with me he was saying, in about three years, and that he was going to pay 1/2 the bills, and i would pay 1/2 the bills, and of course have to pay to take care of my kids. so i said that yes, i would be able to do that, and i could pay 1/2 the bills, but that it would be extremely tight for me. so then he was saying something about how if he moved in with someone, meaning me, that he would want them to either be close to having an associates degree or to have it already. so i said that for me i wouldnt be able to have that right now, because of money babysitting issues, that sort of thing. it was something that eventually i want to do, but that it just cant happen right now, i have enough going on right now. and yes i could make more money once i had that, but i just cant now. and he went on and on, acting like basically he was afraid of having to support me and the kids and that it was a requirement, and that how it would be convenient to have someone living with him to take care of the bills with him, and not making it like he wanted someone he really cared for to be with him. so by this time, i was getting really upset. he had to ruin it all by talking, and going on and on and not shutting up. ugh, men are so clueless. so anyway. i got out of the shower, put my clothes on, basically not speaking to him, and said i dont think that i am the one for you, because i dont have what you are asking for in a woman. and so after i said that he was basically saying that he didnt really mean it like that, but that it would be nice if i had it, but that he just wants me to have the ability to make a lot of money too. and not just be him making a lot of money, and me struggling. so i said that was fine, and eventually i would get one, but it could take me 10 or 15 years, or even more, and would that be an issue, or stop him from moving in with me or taking it further with me, and he said no. so basically he took back everything that he said. about the it taking him 3 years thing for him to move out of his parents house, i made a comment to him saying that i didnt think that my present situation was going to hold out that long. because not only do i not think that i can stay with my sons father that long without killing him or losing it, but also lord knows if he can keep a roof over our heads for that long either, i seriously doubt it. he had issues last month with paying our rent. and this month now he is saying that he is going to have issues too, which isnt good, i already warned him that i couldnt help him this month at all, because of all the time off that i have been having to take because of the accident and everything, i am going to short pay most likely, and that isnt good already. but that is a different subject completely. so to get back to this subject, it basically ending with him saying that he didnt mean it like that or that he didnt mean it, and whether i have a degree or am getting one, or am not even trying or not, that it wouldnt change the plan or when the plan would happen. the "plan" being moving in together once he has finished with class, and he is saying that he has 6 more classes to go and then a test and then he would be done. and then get a teaching job and establish himself in it, which would hopefully be no more then 1-2 years, and i am really hoping that it wouldnt be more then that, one year more might be pushing it. for my situation that i am in. i mentioned that to him before, and he just said something about when that time comes, we would see what would happen, blah blah. so okay, anyway, after that little talk and him taking everything back, but me not really feeling all together assured, we went to dinner at a dennys. and i was a nice dinner, we were both starving, the waitress gave us good service, and we discussed first the tip that he/we (being that we were splitting everything) would leave, their was only one moment at the restaurant where he was going to act, it looked like anyway, a tiny bit weird with giving the waitress her tip, but i handled it, and gave it to her instead of him. so that was that. driving home, for some insane reason, probably because he brought up the subject of how well put together i seemed, and how i seemed so in control of myself so long story short on that i ended up telling him about my little issue that i have that comes up occasionally when i am really upset and get the urge. he didnt really get freaked out about it or anything like that, which maybe was what i was thinking that he would, he didnt seem that concerned at all. him and that calm personality. i swear nothing seems to get to him. he basically didnt even react at all, and walking to the room, i made a comment about okay now i am not going to hear from you again, you are going to run, but he was like no, it takes a lot more then that, you have nothing to worry about, so i was like yeah okay. then we went back to the hotel after dinner, and we were supposed to be "resting", but we ended up starting to play again, one thing led to another again, and i swear he is like the foreplay king, i havent seen anything like it. and once again, i had another orgasm, amazing two in one night, cant remember the last time that happened. he, again, couldnt come inside me (well inside condom, inside me), and pulled out took condom off and made himself come again. which i thought again was a little weird but more on that in a little bit. so then we fell asleep at maybe 3am laying next to each other cuddled up (awww, so nice), i woke up at 6:30am, left and got back home, and went to sleep and didnt wake back up til noon. so at least i got some sleep. but anyway, i did hear from him today, so there went me thinking that because i had said that, that i wouldnt hear from him. i actually called him first, seeing if he had checked out of the room and everything was okay, because i left him sleeping, he said yes he stayed til like 11:30 or something like that, and he got some good sleep. which was good for him, but my sleep wasnt that bad either. so anyway, we talked for a while that time, and i mentioned it to him and he said that it didnt really phase him he didnt even think about anymore. so then he called me like 2 or 3 more times after that, and we have also been talking online for almost an hour now. he said that the reason that he couldnt come inside of me was because he is so used to taking care of it himself now that he has to get back used to having a woman. so i guess that is a good explanation. so he said that he should get used to having a woman again, and that he should get used to it again. i just hope that it isnt another 3 weeks til the next time. ugh. so in a recap of the evening, thinking back it was pretty good. yes he was late, and did frustrate me by not keeping his mouth shut. and keep talking and digging himself deeper and deeper. but then again, he is a man, and is also not perfect. so there was that. but there was also the whole night in general which was good, i orgasmed twice which was amazing to me that happened, and he came twice, which was good, and he liked it too i could tell. i also got a bruise on one of my shoulders, not that he did it on purpose at all, i liked it though so that is okay. :) so that was the night. we are not supposed to be seeing each other for a few days now. we are so used to seeing each other several times a week, every two or three days for at least lunch. but this week, and what he said that was from now on, it is only going to be thursday and friday lunches, so from last night (early this morning, but i dont consider that) that makes 4 days that we wont be seeing each other. thursday would make the 5th day. but we are supposed to be having lunch that day. and then friday night is my friends 30th birthday blow-out, and possibly something on saturday night too, which he is going with me for as well. well on friday night she is having a dinner which is guests only, so he cant come, but he is supposed to be meeting me at the club that we are all going to afterward. and then i dont even know if she is still planning on doing something on saturday night or not, but if we are then he is definetly coming to that too, at least that is what i am intending anyway, i dont even know if we are doing anything or what we are all doing, but i do know that he needs to be able to come too. i am getting really really attached to him now damn it. i want to spend time with him. ugghhh. i didnt want to get attached like this, because of the fear of getting hurt, and now i am attached. me and the girls at work were talking about and agreed to a girls night out on the 10th of next month, which is a saturday night, and if i go, that would be the first saturday night (other then the one with the car issues which was neither of out faults) that we werent able to go out. sniff, sniff. i dont know if i really want that. maybe if i met him afterward or something depending on what we are doing. damn i am really attached now. crap. not that i mind really that much, because i am happy with him, but still, you know what i mean. anyway, we said goodbye online now, and he said that he woud talk to me tomorrow, and now i am going to go to sleep.