The Honeymoon Is Over

i dont know, it is so hard to explain. on one hand he really annoys me at times, and then at other times i really like him because he is soo sweet and caring, and thoughtful. for example, probably due to his issues with his car, and the large sums of money that he had to pay to fix it, he is running low on money at this time. supposedly anyway, that is what he is saying. so he was really annoying me about tomorrow that we have planned, he made sure like 10 times or more that i was going to be giving him the money for my "half" of what we have planned, then he was also saying that i would definetly need to pay half of the dinner that we are going to have out as well. so i responded that i had no problem paying for my half of what we had planned, but that if i was going to have to pay for some of dinner, then we might as well just have the check divided and each pay for what the other one eats. then he was saying something about me making something for us instead, i shot that one down immediately, i am not about to cook and home and bring something, that is not going to happen. saturday nights are for me to relax if i am going out, not to be cooking. so hopefully he comprehended that wasnt going to be happening. and he understood that i will pay for what i order at dinner. earlier today when we came to meet me for lunch at my job, like we have been doing several times a week, he annoyed me again. we see each other 2-3 times a week for lunch, with him meeting me at my job for my lunch break. and i almost always make us lunch at home, and bring it for us. so he was requesting what i make him, what he drank, what snacks he had, you get the picture. so when i told him that i didnt have them, he said that i should buy them, so i said that i would think about it. but then in almost the next breath he says to me that he was thinking of buying and bringing lunch for us on monday of subway. so i said oh that sounds good, and he asked me if what we had last time was good for me, so i said yes. then in the next breath he asks me if i am going to give him half of whatever i spent. so i looked at him and without thinking about it, said yes as long as i have them money. then i thought about it and said wait a minute i pay for all the ingredients that you want and ask for, and the lunches that i make for you, so if we are splitting what we are eating for lunches then you owe me some money. so it took him a while to even see what i was saying and he never really agreed to it, this is just an example of the couple of things that have been happening to just make me say hhhmmmmmm. not that they are really annoying me and upsetting me, he makes me really happy at times too, i dont know, maybe i am reading to much into this. one of my friends keeps saying to me that i just need to shut up and stop thinking about it so much, and just enjoy it. and she was saying for me to just enjoy being taken care of and spoiled. now i would understand that to mean to just relax and let him pay for everything and spoil me taking me out. right? but that isnt happening anymore, that is done now. he was telling me later today that whatever we did on the weekends that we were going to have to split, and that he had to start watching his money, blah blah. so basically that means, more money that i dont have that i would have to spend, which isnt that good for me. so, so much for getting treated and taken care of at least in the financial way of going out and everything. i dont know, maybe it is just me, and i need to just stop thinking about all this and just go with it. the plans for tomorrow night are still there, i have been looking forward to it, i suppose, no, i know that i have been looking forward to it, maybe that is another thing, after all this anticipation and thinking about it wanting it, and build up towards it, i am thinking what if it isnt good, what if i dont like it, what if he doesnt like it, i am thinking about all these things. but of course the smart thing to do is not to think about it at all, and let whatever happens happen. cause if i am nervous about it, and with it, that is probably not going to be good.