And The Perfect Get A Little Less Perfect

okay definetly not perfect thats for sure, that was sarcastic. me and the guy that i have been seeing had plans tonight, and they got cancelled. at first i thought that i was going to be the one to cancel them because when i walked out of my house this morning there was a big puddle of antifreeze underneath my car, so i got upset and brought it took a mechanic by my house who said that my water pump was going and would be completely gone very soon and that i needed to get it replaced as soon as possible. so i asked him if it would last me the weekend to do what i had to do, and he said that it should just to keep an eye on it to make sure that it doesnt overheat. and he gave me an estimate of 550 to fix it. which is not good at all. so i called up my daughters father to ask him if i could borrow some money in advance of like my child support or something and he said yes, but he suggested that i use a mechanic near him so that i could leave the car there, and he would drop me to work and then pick me back up and bring me back to the mechanic on monday morning, so i said okay. and he will handle paying them and everything which at least i wont have to worry about. they said that when they looked at it that they would go over everything and make sure that there wasnt any other issues that needed to be looked at, and i mentioned if he could change the oil, and check the brakes that are squeaking and the a/c which isnt really cold anymore. so i am sure that that will add on a lot more money then the original estimate of the 550. that the other place had given me and not even this one. so there goes something else for me to worry about, and i am sure that there goes some of my tax return money because i am going to have to use that for the child support that i wont be getting because of this and him lending me the money. great. just great. and i have to be careful now driving the car that i am not going to overheat it, and the mechanic said that if it looks like i am going to, that i would have to pull off the road and sit there for like a half hour until it cools down. so hopefully i wont have to do that because that would suck. that wasnt the reason that tonight got cancelled though, tonight got cancelled because of the guy. he has an older car, like at least 10 years old, and it was really running bad, and supposedly his engine went on him, and he found this out this morning. so he said that even though it was still running he didnt want to take the chance of driving it and having it break down on him. so we ended up not going and doing our plans tonight, and our plans was something that i was really looking forward to and thinking about, i mean really really really really looking forward to and thinking about. so anyway, there went that, he cancelled on me. i am not really mad at him, cause its not like it was anything that could be helped but still. it still sucks and is disappointing. so this is not a point in his favor. right now it is annoying. he is supposedly going to be getting another car, and looking for a newer used car tomorrow because someone is giving him some money to help with it, so who knows if that would even be enough or not. it is just an annoying situation with him right now, not that he really has any control of it or anything, but still. it is still annoying me, and then his family bailing him out of the situation not that is bad or anything either, just shows how dependent he is on his family. he is also annoying me even more now because he was saying that i could just reserve what we were going to do myself and that he would give it back to me, with the way that he has been acting especially today with the car and everything, there is no way in hell that i am going to be putting up my credit card or anything to reserve anything and see when he gives it back to me, no freaking way. i would have to be stupid or out of my damn mind. i dont even care anymore personally, i am just getting frustrated with all this crap. well today i didnt really do that much, other then freaking out about the car and bringing it to the mechanics and dealing with that, i went to do my walmart shopping mostly getting the presents for the two birthday parties that i have to go to this weekend, and then came home and wrapped them. then i took my kids to the birthday party for today (there is another one tomorrow) which i was at for a while, i was there for about 2 1/2 hours which was plenty of time, and the kids had a lot of fun there, which was nice. they had hot dogs and fries, played laser tag, and got to play all the games there, which was good, they were saying when we left there what a good time that they had. so at least they got to enjoy themselves today. so we went home, and i, having no where to go, came home and got myself nice and buzzed. not really drunk cause i am still functional, but i am pretty good right now. when i first started drinking it felt good, made me forget about a lot of things that i needed to forget about, but now that i reached that point and stopped drinking i am remembering it all again and getting annoyed, frustrated, stressed out, you name it, i am there. so now that the alcohol is wearing off i need to deal with it in my own way. and try to cope with everything as usual.