I am so nervous

I am so incredibly nervous right now, i am supposed to be calling the ONE, (who left me, sort of, i am sure in his view that he didnt), in about an hour and a half and i am going to talk to him. my plans are just to get everything out in the open (how i felt, how i still feel) and see what he says. i am sure that the response that i am going to get is going to one of him basically nicely blowing off what i tell him, and i cant totally blame him because he has another life now, one that doesnt include me. his life has is in another state fairly far away (about a 12 hour drive). he now has his car in that state, a job in that state, and as of a month ago (when he told me, i didnt want to ask again) someone that he was starting to get slowly involved with (his words). so where does that leave me? when i tell him everything, he is probably going to be like yeah right, like i am going to leave the life that i have been building/am still building for myself, and my plans that i have for my future here to be with you. no, i dont think that is going to happen. so why you may ask, am i going to tell him how i feel? i really dont know to be honest with you, but everyone has been telling me that to get over this i need to tell him how i feel, and that once i do that, if his reaction is the reaction that i am looking for, then i of course would be getting what i want. and (this is what i think is going to happen and what i am afraid of) if his reaction is bad, then i will probably even be more upset then i am now, but i wont be dealing with the what ifs. and they said that once that is out of the way, that i will be able to get over this. but i dont know, i am afraid that if he is reaction is bad (to me) then i will feel even more upset then i do now. that is what i am really afraid of. i thought when all this happened to me over 2 months ago (to be exact it was losing my home (stupid hurricane), all my belongings in the home, my dog, and my boyfriend leaving me, i thought that i would be having an easier time coping with it by now. but i am not, i actually am worse at times. then there are those people in my life that say i should be over it by now, and that they are sick of hearing about it. and then there are the other people that say that they understand why i am still upset about it, because of everything that i have went through at once, and so suddenly and unexpected. (maybe in their heads they are thinking that i need to get over it, but they are just to nice to tell me that, who knows). what i do know is that my life has changed so dramatically, that i am not the same person that i was 2 months ago, i am so different. i am like a shell of that person. i talk, walk, and basically function, but i am just not the same anymore. i even look different, probably because of all the stress. well i am going to start getting everything ready in the house so that when it is time for me to call him, i wont have anything to think about except how the heck i am going to word what i am going to say, and preparing for the hopefully not coming rejection. i think that i am going to start by asking him if he wondered why when he told me that he for sure wasnt coming back to me, that i started to cry and yell at him. i want to see what is response is do that first. i am also probably going to ask him if he is doing well with the new person, because if he is doing really good then why am i even going to bother telling him how i feel?