Getting Weirder and Weirder

okay, today was definetly a very weird day. HE called tonight, he said to check on how i was doing, and we were just talking. and somehow i was in a really weird mood (i blamed it on the drugs that i am on) and he was drunk so it made for an interesting conversation. and he said that he had been diagnosed with high blood pressure and that because of that he is cutting down his drinking to only on the weekends, and that he was looking for ways to relieve his pressure. so i said that he could screw his girlfriend, and then we just had this weird conversation. about how our sex was good that we had just had. and then he was trying to get me horny (i guess) by talking about what he was wearing (underwear). and then he said that he had to go and would call me right back. so he calls me back and we continued talking, and that he was saying that i was going to marry this great guy and that i needed to find someone blah, blah. so i said that even though i was financially okay right now, it didnt make me happy. and he was telling me something about him moving in his new apartment on i think it was the 17th, and that it was a 2/2 and that it had a fireplace and everything. he seemed really happy about it. i told him about what i was worried about with the birth control and the antibiotic but he didnt seem worried. he said that we had been through this before, and that i hadnt been, which is true. so then i also reminded him that i had also been once, and that i had lost the baby. and he said that he remembers, that he doesnt like to think about it, because it still hurts or something like that. so then that was that, he said he had to go and was going to get to sleep. then not even a minute later he calls back and said that he just wanted to make sure that i was going to fall asleep thinking about him, then he said just joking, i actually wanted to make a suggestion on how to fall asleep if your back is still hurting you. so then he said that, and i said you still love me, you still love me in like a teasing voice. and he was like alright i'm hanging up now, i said okay thats alright i know how you really feel even though for some reason that isnt what you choose, i respect your decision, or something like that. and i left it at that. and we said goodbye and he said i'll talk to you later. and that was that. weird stuff. i am getting better though, this isnt bothering me as much anymore, i still dont like thinking of his new whatever she is, that still bugs me how he slept with her within 5 days of everything, but that is really the only thing that bothers me now. he is done with me, and has made his decisions, now i have to start living my life. i am done with him in that way. and i have to start living for me, and living that way.

i also had more male attention than usual today. my daughter's father was trying to be all over me today, but that is nothing new. what was weird was that this waiter at this restaurant that i go to sometimes with my daughter's father had me on the side cause he was helping me with something and he said you know i just want to let you know you get more beautiful everytime that i see you. and i didnt know what to say, so i just said thank you. and then he said i'll bet he never tells you that. meaning her father. so i said no, which is true, he is always trying to get some from me, but he never says anything flattering about me. he just says what he thinks is wrong with me, or what i shouldnt do. so again he said well you are a very beautiful women, and i will have to talk to him about telling you that more often. very weird. gee maybe i should dye my hair more lighter colors and do my nails with acrylics more often. weird.