doesnt he look so cute? being there with him on his birthday just brought back some memories though, it reminded me of his last birthday which was the same thing except for the fact that HE was there. and i was just thinking about all the things that happened since then. and then i was thinking about how three years ago today i had him, and what has happened since then in both my life and his. then today i had to pay my rent, and as usual i had to drop it off at the building next to the one that i used to live in that got severely damaged in the hurricane. and as usual what happens every month happened to me again, i get depressed thinking about everything that used to be and what everything used to be. and i probably shouldnt be thinking like that but i just cant help it. it has been a while since HE called me, and i miss him and i wonder if he is okay. who knows? maybe he got alcohol poisoning again, and he could have died this time. or maybe he is just happily loving being the complete and total alcoholic that he is and he doesnt even think about me anymore. probably making it worse is the fact that i havent seen my therapist in a while because of this whole insurance situation. she is saying that she will see me now, and that she can then file to my insurance once it is straightened out and get me my money back (hopefully) but that isnt something that i want to do, that doesnt make me happy. that makes me very uncomfortable. my job didnt make me that happy either, at least one girl that i know of that only started one week before me got hired on with the company and they didnt talk to me about it. i am just hoping that it is because we are in seperate depts and that it will happen for me too, because that i want to happen as quickly as possible, especially with all this insurance stuff. as soon as they do that, is the sooner that i get insurance through them. so i wanted it so bad, when she told me that they had hired her and that they were calling people into the office to do that, i wanted them to call me so bad and then they didnt. i hope that they call me. my husband is putting my son in daycare/preschool , he is supposed to be starting this wednesday. so lets see how my son does with that. the reason that my husband is doing that is because he will then be able to work 6 days a week at his job, all during the day. i was going to say that i wish that he would work at least one night a week, but maybe i dont. i have gotten so used to him being home every night, that i might get lonely after the kids go to bed, and i have to say it is a lot easier at night dealing with the kids with him helping me. i guess we just cant have everything that we want can we?
Monday, May 01, 2006
The Birthday Boy
today was my son's birthday (his is my little one). he turned 3 years old today. we actually had a birthday party for him yesterday, and he had fun there. i even had fun too. it cost me a lot of money but what else is new? he also got a cute haircut on saturday. here is a picture of him with his haircut 
doesnt he look so cute? being there with him on his birthday just brought back some memories though, it reminded me of his last birthday which was the same thing except for the fact that HE was there. and i was just thinking about all the things that happened since then. and then i was thinking about how three years ago today i had him, and what has happened since then in both my life and his. then today i had to pay my rent, and as usual i had to drop it off at the building next to the one that i used to live in that got severely damaged in the hurricane. and as usual what happens every month happened to me again, i get depressed thinking about everything that used to be and what everything used to be. and i probably shouldnt be thinking like that but i just cant help it. it has been a while since HE called me, and i miss him and i wonder if he is okay. who knows? maybe he got alcohol poisoning again, and he could have died this time. or maybe he is just happily loving being the complete and total alcoholic that he is and he doesnt even think about me anymore. probably making it worse is the fact that i havent seen my therapist in a while because of this whole insurance situation. she is saying that she will see me now, and that she can then file to my insurance once it is straightened out and get me my money back (hopefully) but that isnt something that i want to do, that doesnt make me happy. that makes me very uncomfortable. my job didnt make me that happy either, at least one girl that i know of that only started one week before me got hired on with the company and they didnt talk to me about it. i am just hoping that it is because we are in seperate depts and that it will happen for me too, because that i want to happen as quickly as possible, especially with all this insurance stuff. as soon as they do that, is the sooner that i get insurance through them. so i wanted it so bad, when she told me that they had hired her and that they were calling people into the office to do that, i wanted them to call me so bad and then they didnt. i hope that they call me. my husband is putting my son in daycare/preschool , he is supposed to be starting this wednesday. so lets see how my son does with that. the reason that my husband is doing that is because he will then be able to work 6 days a week at his job, all during the day. i was going to say that i wish that he would work at least one night a week, but maybe i dont. i have gotten so used to him being home every night, that i might get lonely after the kids go to bed, and i have to say it is a lot easier at night dealing with the kids with him helping me. i guess we just cant have everything that we want can we?
doesnt he look so cute? being there with him on his birthday just brought back some memories though, it reminded me of his last birthday which was the same thing except for the fact that HE was there. and i was just thinking about all the things that happened since then. and then i was thinking about how three years ago today i had him, and what has happened since then in both my life and his. then today i had to pay my rent, and as usual i had to drop it off at the building next to the one that i used to live in that got severely damaged in the hurricane. and as usual what happens every month happened to me again, i get depressed thinking about everything that used to be and what everything used to be. and i probably shouldnt be thinking like that but i just cant help it. it has been a while since HE called me, and i miss him and i wonder if he is okay. who knows? maybe he got alcohol poisoning again, and he could have died this time. or maybe he is just happily loving being the complete and total alcoholic that he is and he doesnt even think about me anymore. probably making it worse is the fact that i havent seen my therapist in a while because of this whole insurance situation. she is saying that she will see me now, and that she can then file to my insurance once it is straightened out and get me my money back (hopefully) but that isnt something that i want to do, that doesnt make me happy. that makes me very uncomfortable. my job didnt make me that happy either, at least one girl that i know of that only started one week before me got hired on with the company and they didnt talk to me about it. i am just hoping that it is because we are in seperate depts and that it will happen for me too, because that i want to happen as quickly as possible, especially with all this insurance stuff. as soon as they do that, is the sooner that i get insurance through them. so i wanted it so bad, when she told me that they had hired her and that they were calling people into the office to do that, i wanted them to call me so bad and then they didnt. i hope that they call me. my husband is putting my son in daycare/preschool , he is supposed to be starting this wednesday. so lets see how my son does with that. the reason that my husband is doing that is because he will then be able to work 6 days a week at his job, all during the day. i was going to say that i wish that he would work at least one night a week, but maybe i dont. i have gotten so used to him being home every night, that i might get lonely after the kids go to bed, and i have to say it is a lot easier at night dealing with the kids with him helping me. i guess we just cant have everything that we want can we?
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