"Laying In My Bed I Here The Clock Tick And Think Of You...."

i still think of HIM like a lot, and it really bothers me. because every time that i think of him, it gets me upset again. because then i keep thinking of old memories. i cant believe that it has been so long since he has called me. i guess that in his mind he doesnt think of me anymore, or at least not as much. i havent seen my therapist in a very long time, several weeks and it is getting harder and harder to deal with everything. with all these issues with my insurance, she doesnt want to see me right now unless i pay her up front and then try to get reimbursed later. not that i absoluetly cant do that i just dont want to because i am afraid that i am not going to end up getting my money back. so who knows if i am going to see her again. i really need to see her, i am trying to handle everything, but it is so hard. i am happy about my job and the full time thing, once it happens, oh please let it happen, i will be saving about $136 per month on insurance. i really hope that everything goes okay with it. Yuck again....my husband is smoking officially now, he has a pack that he is carrying around and he isnt even bothering to hide it anymore. he will smoke right in front of me, and it is disgusting. and then he tells me that he wants to quit again and use patches to do it, but he isnt making any move to buy the patches instead he is buying packs of cigarrettes. yuck, yuck. today was my sons first day of daycare/preschool and he per the teachers information did really well. she said that he was well behaved, that he is very smart, and also that he speaks about a year above his age. so that was good. and he didnt cry or throw a fit when my husband left him there, the only time that he got upset was when all the other kids parents were picking their kids up and my husband wasnt there yet. so i am happy that it went well. when we asked my son if he wanted to go back again he said yes, so that is good. that way my husband wont have to drag him in there like we were scared that he was going to have to. good news, i found out about my ticket, it isnt going to cost that much at all, i have until may 24th to pay it, and it is a no points violation. that is a very good thing. i can afford to pay the amount that it is, and i am not going to get any points on my license. so hopefully my insurance rates wont go up. because i have to renew the end of june, so i really hope that they dont go up when i try to renew. i guess that we will see.