Is It Me? Am I Wrong?

so first of all to hear frankie's dad (my still technical husband) tell the story of why i left him, he sees no reason behind it. to tell the story, he was just at work one day and heard that i was cleaning out his house of all of its things and that i was leaving him. and also he says of course that i was cheating on him too. he sees no reason why i left him, or that it could have mostly if not all his fault, okay so maybe not his fault, maybe i will say that i wasnt perfect either, because no one is, but if it wasnt for him and the way that he is with money, and his habits, which is where the money goes, and of course the fact that he could never hold onto a job, then we would probably still be together who knows.

i am trying to get the darn divorce filed so that i can get the paperwork started, and i thought that i was done with that and that it would be filed with the courts, so that i could get a casenumber and get everything going, but i was told today that i had to go myself to the courthouse and file the paperwork myself now, and sign an affidavit in front of them saying that i have no money so that i dont have to pay the court fees. so i am not done with this part of the process like i thought that i was. so i am probably going to do that on friday, i have to go the place pick up the paperwork, and then go to the courthouse and submit it to them, and sign that paper. and i really hope that is it for this part of it. i had to go to child support enforcement today to give them the case number, per their request of course, because they want to be involved with child support and if you dont want to cooperate then they threaten to take your medicaid, or whatever else that you are getting from them. which is just wonderful. but anyway, i was told that as long as i get the paperwork to the courthouse so there is a case number, then i am fine, and she also said that they dont take away medicaid from pregnant women and children anyway, which i really hope is true. so that is that.

something that has been hugely bothering me lately, is the fact that frankie's dad has a girlfriend, her name is danielle. i have just been learning about him and her recently, probably in the past week or two weeks the most. before that i didnt hear about her. frankie was telling me about her, and one night when i called his dad when he was going to bed, so that he could say goodnight to him like he always does, he asked his dad to say goodnight to her too, and then i heard him saying i love you or i love you too to her, which bothered me a huge amount. and then as if that wasnt bothering me enough, i learned that she was trying to get a job at frankie's preschool, which was hugely bothering me, so i mentioned that to frankies dad, and i said how would you like it if my boyfriend got a job at frankies school, and i think maybe he understood that, who knows. he did say that she wasnt going to get a job at frankies school anyway, because it didnt pay enough for her. yeah okay whatever. and then there is her picking frankie up and dropping him off every day back and forth to school (on the days that his dad has him of course), and of course frankies dads excuse for that would be that he had torn the ligaments in his foot and ankle about a week and a half ago, and that he is now on crutches, and that he cant walk around, which i guess is a fairly reasonable excuse, that is also of course his excuse for why he hasnt been working now too, how can he get to work, when he doesnt have a car and cant ride a bicycle, and of course this girlfriend doesnt have a car either. and then i just learned today from frankie, which i am sure that this is true, because she is around constantly, whenever i talk to frankie or his dad she is there and i hear her in the background, and especially being that she is bringing frankie back and forth to school everyday. it makes sense, that she is living with him. which is what frankie said. he said that the girlfriend has her clothes at his house, and that she lives there, he also said that his daddy and girlfriend sleep on the couch together, and that he sleeps in the bed by himself. so that means that the three of them are crammed into that tiny almost efficiency that he has right now, which if you push it could be considered a one bedroom apartment, even though i wouldnt really consider it that it is so incredibly small. so okay why i am so annoyed and upset about this whole thing? it isnt like i havent been living with my boyfriend this whole time, and it isnt like that guy isnt around frankie a lot too. so what is my issue? maybe the fact that neither frankies dad or kaylas dad have ever had a girl that was around the kids a lot, and i never had to deal with that, i dont know. but this is seriously annoying me and bothering me, really really badly. ugh, then maybe it is the fact that this is getting pushed into my face by frankies dad too, he always has something to say about her, or i always hear her in the background. and i didnt do that to him. i just dont know.