The Bulls**t Update

well, i was home from work today and yesterday, because i was feeling really sick. had/have probably the same thing that my daughter had, with my head hurting, my throat, coughing, congested, a little ear pain, all of that great stuff. so i went to the doctor yesterday morning and was given an antibiotic, and also discussed with her two of medications that i have been taking. one of them is for my asthma, which its important to have so that i can breathe, and the other one is for my depression. the issues with the medications is that they are 60.00 each plus the other medications that i have to take too, so i cant afford them. they changed the prices on one of the medications, it wasnt that much money before. so that is what caused the issue. so for one of the medications the doctor said that if i had to switch it, to get the pharmacy to fax a request in for it, and she would fill it, and for the other one she gave me a months worth of samples, but after that who knows. then of course i wasnt at work today, so i am probably going to miss a lot of money out of my paycheck for this pay week. which luckily isnt the pay week that is coming up this friday, but still, it will just be the next one. i am talking to my friend that i work with right now, and she said that while i wasnt there they had a meeting about us getting bought over, and how they arent going to know anything until june. or something like that. and then she also said something that really upsets me, she said that during the meeting they said that we were only to use our email at work for business uses and no personal emails. and then they also said that we arent allowed to use our cell phones or i think even have them out where we can see them. so that is going to be great. i hope that i dont have an issue with them about that, because i always have my phone out where i can see it. because if i am at work, and something is wrong like with my kids, i need to see my phone and be aware of it. so that is probably going to be an issue i am sure, if they see my phone out. and then of course we have the rule that we arent allowed to converse with each other basically at all, heaven forbid we should be heard talking or we are standing up near our desks. so now with the no email and cell phones rule how are we supposed to talk, through sign language? and then there is another really great rule, that there cant be two people going to the bathroom or in the bathroom at the same time. so that means that if you have to go, and someone is already using the bathroom in our department with 6 other people in it, then you have to wait until they come back. i really feel like i am in elementary school, it is horrible. i have really been wishing even more and more every day it seems, that i had never transferred and i had just stayed with what i had, and just collected my severance package with staying with that position to the end. it of course is too late for all of that now, but still. i really am regretting making that decision now, as it seems from what i have heard and can tell, that a lot of other people are regretting their decisions too. so lets see what happens at work tomorrow, it should be interesting. i heard also that my manager, the one that i had left a message for this morning saying that i wasnt going to be able to come in today, wasnt at work today, so hopefully either someone got the message or it wont matter. whatever, i am so frustrated that i dont even really care anymore. i dont like waking up in the morning anymore, and i dread being at my job. thats not good. i talked to my "husband" about how for the kids best interest i would like to start staying home with them again, and take care of them, the house, etc. especially because of my daughter, her attitude is so bad, and it seems like she is always acting out, and her schoolwork has been failing too, i just dont know what to do. of course, to him that was a suggestion that he wasnt that happy with because he said that he was going to have to bust his butt to pay the bills, while i stayed at home, but he said something like we will see with my job and this transition thing, and other things that are happening. i know that he isnt going to go for it unless i push it, and then i am also scared that what happened before would happen again if i pushed him handling all the bills and everything himself, and we would get evicted again. but i really just feel that i need to be there for my kids, especially my daughter which seems to really need me right now, and with work and everything else, i am just not there like i feel that i should be.