No More Calls And Some Speculation

well, he hasnt called me since the morning after the fourth of july. so maybe he is starting to feel better or isnt drinking so much, who knows why the calling that had increased dramatically has decreased again. maybe he realized that unless he is willing to do something about it, which he isnt, that there is no point to him calling me like that anymore. who knows. i was talking to my best friend about everything last night, and about why he seems like he is never happy with anything there, and how he said that he has no friends there and misses his father and stepmother. and her theory was that he will be moving back here. she was really certain about it, the same way that she was certain about what was going to happen in january before it happened with me and him. so maybe she will be right, i dont know. the only thing that is stopping me from really agreeing with that is all the factors that are up there, like his brother his so called girlfriend and his mother. so i dont know. i do know that, as i have previously stated i will not move up there and change my life for him. that was an option before in my mind, (not that he ever came me the impression that it would happen but anyway), now it isnt an option in my mind anymore. because of how irresponsible and how everything has been going for him, and how he really hasnt changed much in the past over 8 months. for example, he is still working at the same crappy job, making probably the same money or less, and he really hates it now. he was even telling me about how crappy it is. and he is drinking more then he was when he was with me before. and he isnt getting help for it. and those were the two major reasons that we were having our problems before. and he hasnt changed anything. me on the other hand, i couldnt stand my job that i had before, so i looked for and got this one, and then left my other one. and what did i get out of it? i pay 20 dollars less a month for good insurance, i make about 3 dollars an hour more, have the same if not better benefits, and have lately been able to get overtime which translates into extra money. and i am appreciated at my job, and dont have management constantly yelling at me every day like i did before. and so that was a major improvement for me. and he has made none. he has actually gotten worse. so that is why i definetly wouldnt move to another state and start my life over for him like i had said before that i would. however, a maybe option, (i would still have to do some serious consideration for this one) would be him moving down here and staying with his dad for a while (who has his room, that is where he was living when i first met him) and saving his money and me saving our money and after a few months getting together again. but who knows if he would ever do that, when he first moved up there he was saying that he didnt want to ever live in florida again. and that he liked that state, so he will probably never do that. but that is the only that i would ever consider being with him again. i will not move to another state and start my life all over again. (especially when i just finished doing that). especially with his record.

well this tuesday, the 11th, is me and my husbands fourth anniversary. yes we were seperated for 2 of those years, but it is still technically four years. so we will see if he does anything for it. he was already telling me when i said something to him that he didnt have any money, and so i made a comment about it not having to cost him much money that it was the thought that counted. even the him not having much money was a pile of you know what, because he is working 2 jobs right now, so he definetly has enough money so he can afford to get his WIFE something for their fourth anniversary. after all this makes four years that i put up with his ass and didnt divorce him. so we will see hopefully he doesnt screw it up. or i will be really upset.