The Truth Of All The Calls Again

well i was trying to sleep last night like most normal people do at night, and i woke up at 3:30am with my phone vibrating on my dresser and then falling off my dresser and onto the floor. so i look at who is calling me and of course it is HIM. so i held the phone in my hand looking at it to see if i should answer it, and i didnt. then while i am still holding it, he calls me again. so this time, i let it go but called him back. i figured i was awake anyway, why not see what he wants. so i called him back he answers completely drunk off his rear, and said that he was wondering around downtown in the city that he lives in. basically to sum up the call, it was the same crap, he said that he loved me at least 2 times, and that he missed me. and that he wanted to hear my voice. then he asked me if i loved him even with his issues, and i of course said yes that i had. and he said that he cant sleep hasnt slept in days it is like rhinos are in his head keeping him awake. he said that he could apologize to me and my kids for the rest of his life and that it wouldnt make up for it (what he did). and he said at least 2 times that he really messed up, so i said that everything could be fixed and he said that it couldnt. i asked where his girlfriend was and he said that she was at her fathers. (maybe she lives there?) so anyway i said that i had to get some sleep for work the next day, and he said okay i will call you back in 15 minutes, and i said no i have to sleep. and that was it. after that type of conversation of course it took me at least an hour to get myself back to sleep.

i was worried about him just wondering around the city by himself drunk off his butt, so i called him today to make sure that he was alive. he was he said that his brother had to come and find him and that he was in a ditch, apparently this was about 20 minutes after i talked to him. he said that he hadnt showered in 3 days, couldnt sleep, was having a nervous breakdown because of everything that was going on. he said that he had called in to work yesterday, was having issues with leaving the house, and that he was constantly drunk. (he was already drunk and i think it was like 3:15pm). he said that he hates his job and that he misses his father and stepmother (who live here where i am). he also said that he has bruises all over his body and he doesnt know how he got them. i asked him why he keeps telling me these things that evidentally they arent true, and he said that with part of him they are true but the other part of him doesnt know what he wants. he said several times through the conversation something like i should probably just not call you anymore, or call you at these times or something like that. i didnt agree with him, i dont think that i said anything. the way that we ended it was he said something like talk to you later, or something like that nothing definite. and that was that.