Shattered

well i havent been able to post for awhile, i was out of state on vacation with my kids for like 5 days, and almost the whole time my son was sick and was miserable and was whining constantly. so that, of course, took some of the enjoyment out of everything. i ended up having to take him to the emergency room while i was on vacation, they gave him an antibiotic and he feels a lot better now. but towards the end of our trip, my daughter started feeling sick. and she is still not better, she has been sick for over a week now. and she has been taken to the doctor once, and i called the doctor once. but they didnt give her anything, they just said that it was a virus and that within a couple of days she should be better. but tonight she seemed to get worse and not better, her fever was really high, and she threw up tonight. so i already told her dad (because he is supposed to be keeping her tomorrow, monday, tues and wednesday that he is probably going to have to take her back to the doctor. and i am telling him that he better not leave until something is done to make her better. because this is getting very upsetting now. she feels so bad, and i cant see her suffering like this.

speaking of suffering while i was up there visiting my best friend i called HIM because i wanted to tell him that i was up there, and see what he would say about that. so i called him and told him that, and even hinted around that i was probably going out at night, looking for something to do, etc. but he didnt take it at all, all he said was like oh the roads are hard to drive at night, and other things like that. in the beginning i had my hopes because he said something like oh you have been on my mind lately, but nothing. so at the end of the conversation, i saw that it wasnt going anywhere and he said well whenever you want to call me and talk you can i will be here. and i said like yeah, uh-huh and that was it. i am not going to call him again. him like not taking the bait, blowing me off or however you want to call it, i am done. i just dont want to do this anymore. there is no point. he doesnt want to be with me anymore, i was really thinking that he would want to meet me maybe halfway or something, being that is a 4 hour trip i wouldnt expect him to make the whole drive or me make the whole drive, but still i guess that i expected something out of him. but i basically got nothing. and it wasnt like it was just that one night and that was it. i called him, and it could have been that night or the following night i would have still been there, but he wasnt interested at all. i dont know. this should definetly help me get him off of my mind, as an option or something i miss, because i cant have it anymore. and that is that.

well, some good news through all of this heartache and sick children. (and i am fighting it too now) my insurance through my job will be starting on the 1st of next month, thank god. so that will be 120 dollars more a month that i will have and not have to worry about paying. which is a very good thing. it is a different insurance company then i am used to, but i am sure that it will be fine. they are offering 4 different plans, and i am probably going to get the best one that they offer. also i went to renew my car insurance for the month of july, and i thought that it was going to go up because of the ticket that i had gotten, but instead, another good thing, it actually went down 20 dollars per month. which made me happy.

here are some pictures from our trip:






this is my daughter,


















my godson,


















my godson chasing my daughter,

















and my son.









arent they all cute?