AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!

i really just feel like screaming out loud right now. i really do. i have been working as much overtime as i possibly can with the kids and having to pick them up, on monday i worked about 45 minutes, on tuesday i worked 2.5 hours, and then today i worked 1 hour. and then hopefully if everything is okay with the issue that i am having i should work anywhere from 45 minutes to one hour tomorrow and friday. that is if i am able to get to work. i really hope that my car keeps driving. i had an issue today where i had to stop really quickly and my car started shaking and acting like it was going to stall. and when i tried to accelerate it would only go like 5 miles an hour. so i pulled off the road and turned it off waited and then turned it back on again, and it drove finally. so now i am all flipped out and worried. and of course my husband never helps matters at all, because he immediately said oh it sounds like the transmission, and if it is the transmission then of course that is a lot of money. and he always says that my car is my problem. even though we are married and everything is our problem not just one of our problems, because whatever effects me effects him etc. but i guess that he doesnt think that way. and we are married and have been married almost 4 years. but what is funny is that when me and HIM were together and something would happen (and we were only together for about a year and three months) it was always him saying what are we going to do. it was always us and we, never him saying you. so i dont know, i just hate the attitude that he has about things a lot. he has been alot nicer lately and we have been getting along better, thankfully. i take that back, i just mentioned something to him that might be happening about 6 or 7 months from now, and he got upset and said that i shouldnt make decisions without him. it isnt making a decision without him, it is something that involves something that is jointly ours, and so i have the right to say that i want to do this, and then if it isnt something that he is happy with, it isnt done yet so i am sure that we could talk about it. i have been finding myself getting depressed now that things are starting to go down for me. it seems that as soon as something even looks like it might be going wrong, i immediately get depressed and starting getting really upset with my self and everything else. which is probably because i am not seeing my therapist anymore and i am not taking the medication that was prescribed for me. i am just so worried about this, it isnt even the money of if i have to fix my car, but the time that i will be missing from work. this is still a new job, and you can only miss three seperate occurences per six months. which is very strict. so i cant miss work.