I Really Really Really Dont Like Men Right Now

times every time that i have ever said that by like three or four and that is how i feel right now. i am just so depressed. my job is so busy it is insane, i really hope that they hire someone else or something, because it is so stressful and crazy that is nerve racking for me. not that they dont treat me good or anything and everything else about it is good, so i probably shouldnt complain about it.

but that doesnt really have anything to do with the i hate men thing, no what really has to do with that is HE called me six times last night, i dont know at what times, all i know is that the last one was about 1:45am this morning/last night however you want to think about. so there were many things going through my head when i saw that, it was like things were zooming through. like is everything okay, did someone die or get hurt, did that girl dump him or did he break up with her, is he down here and want to see me, so as you can imagine, my brain was doing wild things with this because i couldnt imagine why he would call me on sat night and leave a message and then call me 6 times last night. so i finally get a hold of him (after i called him at around 10am and left a message, and he didnt call me back, and then i called him at 12:30 and hung up when he didnt answer.) so he still didnt call me back around 5pm, so i called him because by now i am freaking out thinking that something happened, and he answers the phone and says that he is at work, and that he was just worried because he hadnt heard from me since i got back from my trip (which was 2 weeks ago, but i guess that he had called me, as a hang up incredibly late so i didnt answer or call him back). so he apologized for calling me so many times but said that his issue that he had latched onto something being wrong and that was why he had called so many times to make sure that everything was okay. so then i said that we were all in one piece, and he said that he was at work and asked if he could call me back later so i said okay, and that was that. maybe i shouldnt be that mad at him, but he got me so worked up imagining all of these different things and then it was absolutely none of them. sigh.

then my husband with this cutting back on hours thing, he was home with me on saturday all day and then sunday all day. and then of course everyday that i come home he is there, i just cant get rid of him. and then i was thinking of going out tonight just to do something and get away, anything, but i didnt end up doing that. but the thing about it was that he threw a fit about that, like it was horrible for me to even think of having sometime to myself. i really dont like men sometimes. and then he is taking his time finding a job for the weekend like he said that he was going to do, because now with him being short hours, he is shorting on money for groceries and everything else, so that is making it even more difficult for me and making me even more broke then i was before. such bull. and he isnt even rushing to find another job, it is like he doesnt even care. and now my health seems to going downhill, everything is hurting and starting up hurting at once, which stinks. i hope that my health isnt going to start having all these issues at once, i dont know how more that i can take. and then to make things even better, there was a really bad storm at my house while we were all gone, so my dog flipped out and destroyed all our blinds, and now i am going to have to worry about replacing them and him doing it again. wonderful, no wonder i am depressed. i am seriously considering taking my medication again, because i am really going wayyyyy down again. i just hated the way that it made me feel though that is the only thing stopping me. it made me feel so spaced out and dazed.