Get Out Of My Head

this is killing me. HE started to pop up in my head today, i assisted someone at work today with their account who had the exact same (spelling and everything) last name as him. which is rare because it isnt that popular of a last name. and then the exact first day back to work from vacation (which was tuesday of last week) i was telling one of the people that i worked with that i had went to one state to visit my friend and that we also went to another state that it bordered on to go shopping, and i couldnt remember the name of the town because it was a smaller town, and weirdly enough, he said that exact name of the city that HE lives in and asked if that was it. so that was strange, for him to pick that city out of all the other cities that are more known of in the state. anyway, he has just been in my head a lot today. i dont know why. i guess because i know in my mind the reason that he called me so late in the morning (or early) was because he was drunk. and he had something say i am sure. because that is when he always has something to say is when he is drunk, sober is the conversation that i had with him on friday, when he was very impersonal and cold. i wish he had been drunk. the only that i will know the true story is to talk to him when he is drunk. which is difficult. because by the time that he is drunk enough, i am sleeping and exhausted from work. so i dont know. i suppose i should just let it go, but it is hard to get him out of my head. i was going to start doing it again, after the conversation that we had when i was on vacation, but he had to go and call me and mess me up again.

well good news on one front. my daughters father took her to the doctor and actually thank god saw someone who had a brain. they did a analysis on her urine and they saw blood in her urine. which i am sure was there before if they would have done that. so finally at least she got the antibiotics that i had been asking them for this whole time. so hopefully she will start feeling better soon.

i still am occasionally not feeling well, on and off through out the day. i dont know if i am actually sick anymore, or if it is allergies. because last year, i am just not sure around what time, my doctor had put me on allergy medication and it was helping. i had stopped taking it because i was feeling better, but maybe it is starting near that season again. i have blocked some things out of my mind, to make room for the memories that i want to remember, and i am sure that this is one of them.