A Week Later

okay so it is one week later since i have posted here last. not that much has happened that is of too much interest. at least i dont think so. since friday night, i saw him one other time, which was the day after that, saturday night. and it was good, we spent the night together, and it was pretty good. he isnt hugely gifted but he knows exactly what to do to get you going. so sexually we are definetly compatible. which is a very good thing. we are supposed to see each other tomorrow night, just going to like the movies, and i dont know if that is it, or if we are going to do something else. so i guess we will see. my "husband" is working tomorrow night, because he had lost his day job on fathers day (last sunday) so now he just has the night job and is of course trying to make as much money and work as many hours with them as he can. so anyway, even though he doesnt usually work on sat nights, and that is usually my night to go out, he is working. but i asked my friend, the one with the car issue with my husband, who lives most of the time like 2 blocks from me, if she could come over after she is done with her school which would be at like 10:30pm, and just make sure that nothing happens while i am gone, because the kids will be sleeping. so she said that she would, and my husband is supposed to be home for like 12:30am so she wont be here that long anyway, which is good. so anyway, i just hope that it goes okay with her and doing that, cause sometimes with her who knows, things happen or come up, or she forgets. so i am keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes okay, especially being that i havent been out with him or seen him since last saturday. of course, everyday at least once or twice a day we talk or chat online or webcam too while we chat so we can actually see each other, but literally being able to hold hands or something we havent been able to do for a week as of tomorrow. now to make things even more interesting in my life, it is a possibility that i could have gotten pregnant. i stopped taking all of my medications, every single last one, including birth control, depression, asthma, allergies, bladder, you get the picture, about three weeks ago. i did that because of the way that i was feeling, i didnt like it. anyway, we did use protection just like we should have, did everything right, but something went wrong in the end, and he finished, and i dont think that the condom wasnt too effective because it was basically crumbled up inside of me. and i was of course fertile that day too, assuming that my cycle is still on track and not really off now that i stopped taking my pills. so now i am thinking that i could be pregnant, it is a possibility, especially being that i had no back up method, that condom was it. this time i will be 100% sure who the father is, because i have been with no one else this past month. (i was serious when i said that i swore that wasnt going to happen again. so anyway i suppose that is something that i am going to have to wait and see. if i am pregnant, he doesnt really seem to mind at all, he even said that whatever happened either way was okay, because eventually he wanted a baby of his own anyway, just that this wouldnt be perfect timing, but if it happened now that was okay too. he was fine with that. so that is good, at least the way it seems, if i am, i wouldnt have to worry about him freaking out or running away.

also today my daughter got sick at camp, saying that her tummy really really hurt, and that she felt like she was going to throw up, and they were saying that she wanted to go home and needed someone to pick her up. so i tried calling her dad and my mom, but unfortunately both of them didnt happen, so i ended up having to leave work three and a half hours early to go get her, and before i left i was advised by my direct supervisor that it would be considered an occurence. and of course i know myself, that this would then be #4 and that would then mean that i am going to get written up, because you are only allowed four of them in six months. so i am going to get written up, because my daughter wasnt feeling well, and i had to leave a little bit early to get her, that is ridiculous. but my kids come first, i wasnt about to let my daughter suffer just because i was going to get in trouble at work. so anyway, that was just great news about my job.

then there is my husband with his job situation, and the fact that he lost the day job one now and only has the one job at night that he had, that he wasnt really making a huge amount of hours at. and of course today is the 22nd and he has not a cent saved up for the rent. so i started flipping out about it, making plans to put my things in storage, rent a room from one of my friends who said that me and the kids could do that, and also put an ad in the paper to give my dog to a good home cause i wouldnt be able to bring him. which broke my heart. so after i did all of this flipping out, he said to me that he had spoken with the landlord and explained to her that he was going to at least a week or a little bit more late on the rent, and explained to her all of the things that we had wrong with our apartment, and said that if she bought the materials to fix it that he could fix it for her. so he claims that she said that was okay. so hopefully for now, for next month i hope, we will be safe. because i dont want to think about moving until i know what is going with the situation with the guy and the transfer. and me moving at that time with him if he got the job. which brings me to an interesting point. my parents are concerned about me moving so far away, at least 2-3 hours from them, my friends, and everything else and everyone else that i know, my job, etc and only having him there to depend on. so my mom, mentioning all of this, speaking of course for my dad too, mentioned a few good points for me to think about. number 1 of course is that i dont really know him that well to be moving in with him, but yeah i knew that one already. but if you think about you dont really know anyone until you move in with them. and with the three guys that i have lived with in my life, i didnt know them really well until i moved in with them. of course we know how those turned out but it isnt like they were murders or something, just had issues. which everyone does. so that was point 1 which wasnt something that that i hadnt thought of myself. the other 2 points that really struck me i did find interesting though, one of them was do i know where he works. which i technically did, but i didnt know the exact address or the location, so i asked him about it at like lunchtime and he pretty much put me off, not really telling me. so i asked him again later this evening, and he pretty much told me. i just found out weird that it was like i really had to pull it out of him he didnt really want to tell me. and then the other last point that was made which i also found to be an interesting one was if he moved in with me, which according to him isnt an if it is a when, was he telling his parents about this plan, or had he yet, and would he. the answer i got didnt make me too happy, the first answer was no he wasnt planning on telling them. so then i asked him if he planned on saying anything to them about it at all, or just letting them believe that he was getting a place up there for himself and that was it. so then he said that he hadnt really thought about it, but that he didnt think if he told his parents that they would be too happy. and then he said that he would probably just tell it to them like he was having a roommate up there to help with the bills and that was about it. and then he asked what i would say to mine, and i answered honestly saying that i would tell them the truth, and if they didnt like it or had something to say about it, then i would listen to them, but i make my own decisions in my life and that even though i will listen to other peoples opinions it doesnt effect what i do, i live my life on my own, and i dont really care what other people think. if i am doing something that i dont think that they will like, then so be it. i have to make my own mistakes if that is what it is. so yes, i know, i went on a little rampage/tirade but i was a little frustrated. because honestly when you think about it, how serious does he expect us to be, and what type of a relationship does he expect us to have, if he cant be honest with his parents about exactly the seriousness of the relationship that we have, or are going to have. all he said that he told them know was that he was seeing a girl whose name was ____. and that was it. so then what? he probably wasnt even going to mention at all that i was living with him for quite a while, who knows. it just frustrated me. i dont think i let on how frustrated that i got, but i was pretty upset. anyway, that was it, we changed the subject after that so maybe he did realize how upset that i was, and then a little after that he had to go to sleep cause he has to work relatively early tomorrow, so we said goodnight. and i love you he has started saying to me too, ever since last saturday night. not every single conversation, but almost every one. and then he said that he would call me on his lunch tomorrow cause he has to work. and that was that.