If You can't Be With The One You Love, Love The One You're With

well, i am trying to get to love the one that i am with, which is my husband. even though there are tons of things everyday that remind me of HIM, it doesnt hurt as bad as it did 10 months ago, 6 months ago, or even 3 months ago. and as much as it is killing me not to talk to him, i think that cutting off all contact between him and me, which basically is that i am trying to not call him or view his blogs or anything, is a good thing right now. because i am not reminded of anything about him, including how good he is doing, or whatever. i am not even going to go into it, because i dont want to get myself started. my husband has been a little more romantic to me lately, and also our sexual frequency has increased, which is a good thing, because we all know how much i love that. well, maybe we all dont, but those closest to me do. anyway...getting off that subject, sort of. i dont know i guess i am just trying to let all the dumb stuff that my husband does go, and just pay attention to the smart things. okay. maybe i shouldnt say smart things maybe i should just say the good things, anyway i am trying this new outlook, hopefully it will work. update on the other things. i ended up staying home with the kids on tuesday, and hopefully will not hear anything about it in the future (i havent heard anything yet). i may even get paid for it, because my direct supervisor said that he things i had already hit my 90 days and that i had paid time off, which would be good. i also had yesterday off because my office didnt open because of the storm, that is automatically paid which is good. by the way the storm wasnt a big deal at all, thank god, it was just a little wind and rain. but at least i am now mostly ready for when (which it hopefully wont) something else comes our way. i talked to the property manager of our building and he said that they would be raising the rent, which i of course knew, they are going to be raising it 75 dollars more a month then what we are paying now. but for only 75 dollars a month, i am thinking that we are going to stay here for another year and then after that i am keeping my fingers crossed that we will be doing okay enough to get a 3 bedroom somewhere. i asked my friend about watching the kids tomorrow night and she had originally said yes when i had called her back to find out, but then this morning she called me up and was saying that she had something for school that was due and that it was due tomorrow, and she didnt know if she was going to be able to get it done in time, and of course if it wasnt done she wouldnt be able to watch the kids. which stinks. so she said for me to call her back tonight before i go to bed to see what is going on. so that is at about 10pm. the car hasnt done anything weird lately like i had written about (knock on wood) so hopefully it will keep behaving itself. and thankfully i havent flipped out yet like i was on the verge of before. but of course, hurricane season and everything else isnt done yet.