My Reflections

i am sure that this is going to be a long blog, so i am not saying that it is going to get done today, but i am going to get it started today. i have been thinking back a lot about my past, and a saying that i had heard. they say that people are put in your life for a reason, so that has gotten me thinking. there has been a lot of friends that i have had in my life that have came and gone, and that arent there anymore. i had one friend for part of middle school and the part of high school that i was actually in public school for. and we hung out like constantly, in whatever classes we had together and between classes, she was basically my best friend, but then when i left high school we lost contact, basically because my parents thought she was a bad influence which she wasnt i would say that it was actually her older brother and his best friend that were. then when i started working there was someone i worked with who basically became my best friend, she was a few years older then me, and we were friends for a few years, she was there with me through the end of my teenage years, she was my savior through a lot, and my confidante, if it wasnt for her i probably wouldnt have went anywhere, and she was also there through my marriage to my first husband, what lead up to that, my pregnancy with kayla, the birth of my daughter, and then the end of my marriage with my him. she was also there towards the beginning of my marriage with my second husband and my pregnancy with frankie but not as much, we stopped being really close probably towards the time that i gave birth to my daughter, but we still stayed in touch. i know how to reach her now, and talked to her maybe 6 months to a year ago now, but last time i talked to her she was acting weird, ranting and raving how god was the answer, and that instead of medication an ailment that i had like depression could be solved by faith in god, and that was it, that it was only in your head. so that basically did it for me with her, i havent heard from her or talked to her since. as of right now i have my best friend who i have known since my daughter was probably 5 months old, and we have been through a huge amount together, my daughter is now about 7 years and 5 months old, so that should give you an idea of how long. it sucks that she lives so far away, in another state, but hopefully we live near each other soon. i have other friends right now too, but none as close to me as my best friend, or that i have known the longest. one of my other friends, i have known for maybe 5 and a half years, we havent been through quite as much possible, we havent been close really, just friends and acquintances, and she now lives about 2 hours away, and we also didnt talk for like 2 years or so, because we lost touch when she had some issues. i have another friend who i have known for probably three and a half years, and she is the type of friend who you call each other when there is something going on that the other one is invited to, or when she needs something lately, because not that i dont feel bad for her, because she had a very bad car accident and isnt mobile anymore, but she asks for me to drive her from her place about an hour from me, to another place like a half hour from here, and not that i dont have the time for that, i just dont have the gas money. then i have another friend who we talk every once in a while, and get together occasionally, but we arent really that close then i have another friend that i used to work with at the job that i just left, i have known her from the day that i started that job, which i think would be like a year and nine months ago, and we have been friends pretty much ever since, we have been fairly close for a while, but now that i left the job, things are a little different, i guess because we dont see each other as much anymore. we are supposed to be going out this coming saturday night, but of course if i still keep feeling this bad, then i dont know if that is going to happen.