My Day Yesterday

yesterday was an incredibly hard day for me, i ended up going to the mans house who was interesting in my dog, and then leaving him there with the man. i brought over all his dog food i had left, treats, bones, you name it, i brought it there everything i had for him. and i was fine up until the time that i kissed my dog on the head, said goodbye and walked away from them. then i lost it and started to cry while i was getting in my car. luckily i had went with the guy, so before i started to cry and get in the car, i handed him the keys to my car, and said to him okay you are driving. so he drove and for about 5 or 10 minutes until i got a grip on myself i cried. he wasnt that bad comfort wise, he saw that i was crying said oh i am sorry you really taking this hard. and i said that i was, and started to cry harder. and he was trying to comfort me, holding my hand, and telling me that i made the right decision. so at least where guys go with comforting women who are crying he didnt do that bad. then we went to get something for dinner, but before we did that, i asked him to stop and get me some tylenol because i had a headache from all the crying. so he did, and paid for it too at the register, i swear it keeps amazing me that without blinking wherever we go he pays for everything. even at kmart to get me some tylenol. so anyway, i took the tylenol, and thankfully i felt better, then we went to tgi friday's had dinner, then kept on the long trip back to our home area. because the guys house for the dog was about 45 minutes to an hour away. so we got to our home area, then we went to a mcdonalds, had a little dessert, and while we were there he called his car insurance company. and found out exactly what it would be to add me to his policy as a driver with my car. it only made his monthly payment 82 more dollars then it was before, and i could be added as a driver and not have to change the name or anything on my title my car would still completely remain in my name, nothing would have to change with that. so with all of that found out, he had them add me to his policy. so i now have car insurance under his policy, saving me 68 dollars per month that i dont have to spend, because before i was spending 150 a month and now it is going to be 82 a month. which is great, that makes me happy. and then with me not having a car payment anymore, because he paid that off, and also with my health insurance dropping 45 dollars a month less then i have to pay, things are getting better financially, so that i can afford this move and these bills without worrying about how i am going to be paying them. so that is a relief. something that is aggravating me now is that fact that they are saying that by florida law i have to have the declarations page out of the new policy in order for me to cancel the old one. so now i had to have the guy call the car insurance that he just added me too, to ask for the page to be sent to him and emailed to him, and as soon as he gets it, which he said that they promised would be within 48 hours. so that is good, the sooner the better. they did say something that was good which was that no matter if it does take me 2-3 weeks the date that i got the other policy would be the date that this one gets cancelled, so that is good. at least i wont really have to be paying on two policys. in the end at least anyway, according to what she said. so that was today was trying to make sense of the whole car insurance thing, and of course being sad about the dog, and then also having to call up the place that we are supposed to be moving into and telling them that we arent going to be having the dog there, and asking what had to be done for that. which thankfully isnt that big of a deal to fix at all. and i of course did all of this on a very few amount of hours of sleep, because i tried to go to sleep last night starting at 11:30pm and probably didnt actually fall asleep until maybe 1am if i was lucky. and then i kept waking up every hour or hour and a half i just had so much on my mind. so i talked to the guy tonight and was telling him about my issue with sleeping last night, and he asked why, so i told him that it was because i was so nervous about not having a truck reserved, not having the electric or the cable turned off here, or switched over to there or ready to go, and basically just not knowing where i was moving to for a hundred percent sure. i cant keep going on like this i need to know. so anyway we talked it out and he said that we are going to go and sign the lease on the 13th in the afternoon like planned no matter what at the place that is here, and that if he did find out that he got the job, in a few weeks we could always transfer with that property because they did offer that in a location that was close to where he would have to be located for the other job. so i think that would work better anyway, we could move all our things from the same house, give me more time to give my job notice, and to start trying to find a job up there, and all of that stuff. so we agreed on that. we agreed on the fact that no matter what on the 13th we are signing the lease for the apartment that is here. and that is that no matter what, then we could transfer if we had to to another location (the lease). so tomorrow i am going to call the electric and completely cancel it, cause he is supposed to have that in his name, and transfer the cable, because i am going to have that in my name. then i am also going to give the information to my mom to reserve the uhaul truck to make sure that is ready to go. i just cant help it i keep worrying about if something is going to go wrong, and all of that stuff. i am killing myself with all of this worrying i know it, i need to stop, it is so hard. i was so tired at work today that i really hope that i didnt mess anything up, because i was so out of it, and i really couldnt concentrate. it is really so hard for me to not worry, because i am counting so much on this now. i am prepared and ready (or as much as i will be mentally). and now with me booking the truck and cancelling the electric and moving the cable it has to happen. so i am worried, not as worried as i was before with him not having a plan and leaving everything to the last minute, so at least i am better. i was having my second thoughts (well not really second thoughts), just trying to make sure in my head that this is the right decision, because i have made so many decisions in my life that i have thought in the end that were the wrong decisions that i second third and fourth guess like everything, and then i am still scared that i am making the wrong decision. but something happened today with my stupid husband which made me think that i was making the true and correct decision. he had promised the landlord 300.00 on saturday, but he didnt have it. so he called her up this morning and said that he would have it for her today, instead he only had me bring her 250.00 today. and lord knows what happened to the other 150.00 that he had, because saturday he had 300.00 from his new job, and he had gotten at least 100.00 from the old job that he had, that paid him today. so 150.00 dollars vanished. supposedly. and then also supposedly the landlord was nice enough to tell him that she would work with him as long as he kept to what he said, which he didnt, he promised her 300.00 today. and never mind that the rent was due on the 1st in the amount of 1025.00 and that today is the 9th and he only has paid 250.00 of that, leaving him 775.00 behind in rent right now. that is so incredible i cant even believe it, and knowing that you are that behind in your rent you should put every cent that you have towards the rent, instead of doing god knows what with the other 150.00. go figure. so i guess that is enough to tell me that i am making a valid decision here. not that i really dont care for the guy that i am moving in with, because i do care for him, but me with my decision making skills i question everything. so i hope that i am not making the wrong decision but i dont think that i am. and the way that this guy is acting and going about things, he is really taking care of things and seems like he is what i need. and he makes me happy, and laugh a lot, for funny things and stupid things. it has been so long since i really laughed. i just looked it has actually been exactly a month ago today that we first met in person, it was june 9th which was a sunday night. interesting it has been that amount of time. i didnt actually realize it until i figured it out. like i said though he makes me happy, and feel really well taken care of, and loved. which are all things i havent felt in a while. and i remember little comments that he has said to me, like well if that happens we both have a problem (about childcare expenses going up for my kids) and well then i will have to pay to fix both of our cars (if we crashed into each other)(we were joking and heaven forbid on all of this, but you get my point) when something might happen he doesnt think of it as oh well this is her problem let her deal with it, it is this is our problem lets deal with it. which is an attitude that i havent heard in a really long time. okay i am going to try to get some sleep now. i hope i get a good nights sleep.