My Rant On People

Since none of my clothes will fit around my stomach (or are very uncomfortably tight) I knew that I was going to have to buy some clothes to wear, both for work and for weekends. So instead of going and buying more clothes that were a few sizes to big, and then having to buy more and more clothes after that the bigger that I got, I bought (or had my boyfriend buy being that I couldn’t afford it at the moment) about 5 outfits of maternity clothes, and they are awesome. Nice and big and roomy, and comfortable. I love them, I really do. The only thing that has been upsetting me, is especially at work people have been coming up to me and going your pregnant aren’t you, saying this because I am wearing maternity clothes, and I have a stomach. So I say yes, and then they say how far along are you? And either they try to guess, and say about at least 3-5 months I have been getting, or they are shocked when I tell them that I am about 5 weeks at this time. What can I say? I was overweight when I got pregnant I am not going to lie, but come on, their responses annoy me. What should I say, nah I was just fat when I got pregnant, so that is what I look bigger then most people that are as far along as me. I am not other people. So that is one thing.

The next thing is that my sons father who I am still technically legally married too, figured out this morning that I am pregnant, mainly because I was wearing maternity clothes, cause other then that I don’t think that he is that smart to figure it out. Amazingly enough he wasn’t as pissed off as I thought that he would be, I honestly thought that he would be screaming and cussing at me but he really didn’t, he said that he wanted a divorce. No duh. So I told him to file it whenever he wanted to, yeah right, I doubt if he ever would. And he also something about poor guy, meaning my boyfriend, and that now I have three kids with three different fathers. Which I guess he was trying to hurt me, I don’t know.

Then my boyfriend said today, which he has been saying for a while, that when we file for divorce which is supposedly going to the end of December if everything goes okay, that I should file for full custody on the grounds that his dad cant keep a job for more then two weeks at a time. But if that was true at the time, and still held true from what is going on now, then I would be in for a big custody battle and that would stall the divorce, because he wouldn’t just agree to that without a fight. So I really don’t think that I want to do that. I just don’t know.

Then I have been so tired at work lately, that it is all that I can do to keep my eyes open, never mind focus on my work. And sure enough today a mistake that I had made that was caught, I processed a payment for about 400 dollars more then it should have been. And it was definitely my error, no question about that. not that it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be fixed, but still I have to be careful, or my job isn’t going to be too happy with me. Especially being that I can hardly focus on my work, I cant make mistakes like this, or I am sure that it will only be a matter of
time, which is making me nervous. And also the fact that I was informed, if I have another time from probably about now til December that I am in late to work, or have to call in without having it approvedfirst, then I am going to be written up, which will go in my file, and is basically the first step to being fired. It is also comes in their attention and counts against me during review time.

Then I have been worried that something is going to happen to the baby. And I love it and want it so much. And from the way that my boyfriend has been talking and acting, he does too. So that is something else that has been on my mind. This weekend I was wanting to go to the mall, too look for more maternity clothes, because other then the five outfits that were just bought, and one other outfit that I put together with a shirt that I bought, and a pair of pants that I had, and a couple of other things that are really too big for me right now, that is all that I have.