You Gotta Love The Government

okay so that was incredibly sarcastic, as i am sure that you realize. i went for this ridiculous waste of a time orientation with workforce alliance this morning, because i was informed that in order to get cash assistance through dcf that i had to attend this, and that is of course assuming that i am approved for cash benefits, who knows. so i went to this orientation, and i of course cant work, i am so tired and it is an effort to move a lot of the time, and never mind the back pain that comes and goes and when it is there, like at this moment, it is not very comfortable, the only thing that seems to help it sometimes is laying down, and even then that doesnt even seem to help. so they told me that the only way to be excused from this bs program is to have my doctor fill out this medical form, and in order for me not to have anything to do with them at all, and still be able to get cash benefits if i am eligble, the doctor would have to fill out the form saying that not only am i not able to work at all, but i am also not able to participate in any of these work activities that they have which also entail you to be sitting for certain periods of time, getting up and down, etc. so needless to say i am probably bringing this paper to my doctors office tomorrow, along with a note asking them to please fill out it out this way, and the medical reasons why, and hope that they do, because if they dont, there is no way that i am going to be participating with this program and doing what they require, which is basically you actively looking for a job for 30-40 hours a week, and getting a job. which is something that i cant do, and not even to mention the fact that i dont have anyone of course watching my daughter anymore after school, and since i put her in school near my home, no one that i now is local enough to even do it anyway, so that means i would have to pay the costly price of aftercare. which wouldnt make sense, never mind the fact that i dont think i could handle a full time job again, that is why i had to leave the one that i had before. so of course needless to say i am seriously keeping my fingers crossed that my doctors office will fill out that way, the way that i need them too. because if not then i am just not going to be able to get cash assistance through the government because i cant participate in this program. from what i was told today, assuming that it was correct, because you do never know, from what person says to what another one says, that i would still be able to get medicaid and food stamps if i didnt participate with this program i just wouldnt be able to get the cash assistance. i really hope that is true, if my doctor doesnt fill out the form the way i need, then at least i would hopefully be getting those, assuming i am eligible for those, considering i havent been told what if anything i am getting at this point or not.

i had called my old job and was told by the human resources person that they cancel your insurance on midnight of your last day of employment with them, so basically i am seriously hoping that i do get that it goes back to then for me, otherwise i am going to be stuck with a 1115.00 laboratory bill that there is no way that i can pay. of course not getting medicaid would also bring up a lot of problems too, like not having insurance or being able to pay for medical care. so i would have to figure out another way to get medical care, i dont even know about any clinics or anything around here, because i only moved to this area around 5 months ago. i am keeping my fingers crossed that i get medicaid at least to cover my medical, past and present. (and future of course). i am just going to have to wait and see what happens.

my boyfriend got me a little nervous yesterday because he was acting weird and stressed out, and i finally pulled out of him what was wrong. he is still very happy about the baby, that didnt change but he was thinking about the costs of the baby, and the fact that he will be responsible for another person, and he is already responsible for himself, my kids, and me, so it is five then with the baby. and i think that he was also thinking about how good of a father he is going to be, so we talked about it, and he was feeling better about everything when we were done talking. i am trying not to think too much about what the doctor said, about the tear, especially since he was saying that it really wasnt anything to worry about, and it was something common in pregnancy. so i am trying not to worry about it, but it is hard. i am scared that something is going to happen to the baby. which is of course natural when you are pregnant, i am worried that something is going to go wrong or something is going to happen to the baby.

i was going to blog about more today, especially about a couple of my friends and the things that they have been going through, and i know that i have not been there for them like i used to be or been as social as i used to be with them, i just have so many things going on myself, and i am limited in my cell phone minutes that i can use too, i am on a plan and only have a certain amount of course that i can use per month, but i am not going to use any of that as an excuse, i dont know why i just havent been feeling very social with a lot of people. i dont know why. i guess i am being moody. i need to work on it though, becuase i need to be more there for my friends like they have been there for me.