You Gotta Love The Government

okay so that was incredibly sarcastic, as i am sure that you realize. i went for this ridiculous waste of a time orientation with workforce alliance this morning, because i was informed that in order to get cash assistance through dcf that i had to attend this, and that is of course assuming that i am approved for cash benefits, who knows. so i went to this orientation, and i of course cant work, i am so tired and it is an effort to move a lot of the time, and never mind the back pain that comes and goes and when it is there, like at this moment, it is not very comfortable, the only thing that seems to help it sometimes is laying down, and even then that doesnt even seem to help. so they told me that the only way to be excused from this bs program is to have my doctor fill out this medical form, and in order for me not to have anything to do with them at all, and still be able to get cash benefits if i am eligble, the doctor would have to fill out the form saying that not only am i not able to work at all, but i am also not able to participate in any of these work activities that they have which also entail you to be sitting for certain periods of time, getting up and down, etc. so needless to say i am probably bringing this paper to my doctors office tomorrow, along with a note asking them to please fill out it out this way, and the medical reasons why, and hope that they do, because if they dont, there is no way that i am going to be participating with this program and doing what they require, which is basically you actively looking for a job for 30-40 hours a week, and getting a job. which is something that i cant do, and not even to mention the fact that i dont have anyone of course watching my daughter anymore after school, and since i put her in school near my home, no one that i now is local enough to even do it anyway, so that means i would have to pay the costly price of aftercare. which wouldnt make sense, never mind the fact that i dont think i could handle a full time job again, that is why i had to leave the one that i had before. so of course needless to say i am seriously keeping my fingers crossed that my doctors office will fill out that way, the way that i need them too. because if not then i am just not going to be able to get cash assistance through the government because i cant participate in this program. from what i was told today, assuming that it was correct, because you do never know, from what person says to what another one says, that i would still be able to get medicaid and food stamps if i didnt participate with this program i just wouldnt be able to get the cash assistance. i really hope that is true, if my doctor doesnt fill out the form the way i need, then at least i would hopefully be getting those, assuming i am eligible for those, considering i havent been told what if anything i am getting at this point or not.

i had called my old job and was told by the human resources person that they cancel your insurance on midnight of your last day of employment with them, so basically i am seriously hoping that i do get that it goes back to then for me, otherwise i am going to be stuck with a 1115.00 laboratory bill that there is no way that i can pay. of course not getting medicaid would also bring up a lot of problems too, like not having insurance or being able to pay for medical care. so i would have to figure out another way to get medical care, i dont even know about any clinics or anything around here, because i only moved to this area around 5 months ago. i am keeping my fingers crossed that i get medicaid at least to cover my medical, past and present. (and future of course). i am just going to have to wait and see what happens.

my boyfriend got me a little nervous yesterday because he was acting weird and stressed out, and i finally pulled out of him what was wrong. he is still very happy about the baby, that didnt change but he was thinking about the costs of the baby, and the fact that he will be responsible for another person, and he is already responsible for himself, my kids, and me, so it is five then with the baby. and i think that he was also thinking about how good of a father he is going to be, so we talked about it, and he was feeling better about everything when we were done talking. i am trying not to think too much about what the doctor said, about the tear, especially since he was saying that it really wasnt anything to worry about, and it was something common in pregnancy. so i am trying not to worry about it, but it is hard. i am scared that something is going to happen to the baby. which is of course natural when you are pregnant, i am worried that something is going to go wrong or something is going to happen to the baby.

i was going to blog about more today, especially about a couple of my friends and the things that they have been going through, and i know that i have not been there for them like i used to be or been as social as i used to be with them, i just have so many things going on myself, and i am limited in my cell phone minutes that i can use too, i am on a plan and only have a certain amount of course that i can use per month, but i am not going to use any of that as an excuse, i dont know why i just havent been feeling very social with a lot of people. i dont know why. i guess i am being moody. i need to work on it though, becuase i need to be more there for my friends like they have been there for me.

No More Wiles "sniff"

we had to give Wiles (the dog) away, we gave him to a humane society, animal shelter type facility, we would have tried to find him a home with a private owner, but we didnt really have time. the place that he was brought to was informed that he wasnt good with small children. what happened was my daughter was with him on the couch, and i guess she had her face in his face and he didnt want to be bothered and he was growling at her and showing his teeth, and she didnt stop bothering him, so he got upset with her and bit her on her lip and cheek, left pretty good marks to and she was gushing blood. so me and my boyfriend decided that we had to get rid of him because we didnt want to see anything like that ever happen again, or any one else get hurt, even though you never know no one might have ever gotten hurt again and he might not have ever done it again, but it had to be done. we didnt want to take that chance, especially with the baby coming too. i am upset about it, but i am getting better about it, probably because everything has been going on, it isnt on my mind as much, but my daughter of all people is extremely upset because she said that it wasnt his fault she should have left him alone, and that she deserved to get bit. and she keeps saying that she really misses him.

here is one last picture of him:



you are very missed wiles, i really hope that you find a home with people that will take care of you and treat you well.

Stay At Home Mommy (and updates)

i know that i havent made a real actual post here in quite a while, i have just been so busy with everything and then had things going on too, so anyway, i am going to post now as much as i can possibly think of to catch things in here up. due to how i had been feeling in the morning, and also throughout the day too while i was at work, me and my boyfriend figured out everything on paper and figured out that with the way that everything looked i should be able to stay at home and not work, and he should be able to pay all the bills on his own with just his pay. that is of course just the bills, that doesnt include any medical expenses, food, household needs, etc. you get the picture. i left my job on the 14th of november, which also so happened to be my appt at the obgyn for a checkup, where everything seemed to be normal at that point. even though i formally resigned on the 14th, i actually hadnt been to work since friday the 9th because of how bad i had been feeling. so i started to try to apply for government assistance, food stamps, wic, medicaid, that sort of thing, and of course there are so many hoops that you have to jump through and so many things that you have to get done, so i have been trying to get all of that done, and i have to have everything completed and turned in to them by the 30th. then yesterday i was having pains in my lower back, a low grade fever, and also was peeing a lot, so i called my doctors office to ask for their advice as to what to do, and they told me to go to the hospital to get checked out. so i went to the hospital, which is the hospital that they specified to go to, because that is the hospital that i will be delivering at, and that hospital is about 30-45 minutes away from the house. so i got there at like 3pm i believe and i didnt leave there until at least 8pm. i got diagnosed with a bacterial vaginal infection, yuck, and the surprising thing is that i didnt have any symptoms at least of that i could tell anyway. from what i have read though it is not unusual for the woman to have no symptoms and i was told that it is common in pregnancy, and for those of you who dont know, i was also told and read that it is not an std. and i made sure that my boyfriend who went with me to the er yesterday, and was in there with me the whole time, also heard that it wasnt an std. so anyway, i was given a prescription to treat that, which unfortunately when we had it filled was 80 dollars. because my wonderful job that i used to work for has already cancelled my insurance, and being that i am in the process of applying for medicaid, and havent been approved yet or anything like that, because it is still pending, i have to pay for everything out of my pocket. i also had an ultrasound done, to make sure that the baby was okay, and we got to see the baby moving its arms and legs, heard the heartbeat, and saw the heartbeating, and also were told that as of yesterday i was 8 weeks and 6 days along, and my due date was 06/30/08. so that only changed the due date that i had originally been given by one or two days. so the doctor came back in the room, and told us at first that the ultrasound and the baby were just fine, but then he came back a little bit later, and said that he had reviewed the ultrasound a second time just to make sure, and that this time he had noticed a small subchorionic tear, but he was saying that it was nothing to really worry about because it was common in pregnancy and it would reattach itself. he was saying that the only reason that he was mentioning it was because he had noticed it and therefore had to mention it. he also said that i might have a little spotting because of it, but i might not because the tear was so small. i was so happy that my boyfriend was there with me, that way he heard what the doctor was saying too, that way when i start getting worried about it, he reminds me of what the doctor was saying that it was nothing to really be worried about. i called my obgyn's office this morning and told them that i was at the doctors office yesterday and what i was diagnosed with and also what the doctor found in the ultrasound, and asked them to get the records from the hospital, which they said that they are going to get, and that the doctor is going to be reviewing all the records and that if the doctor needs to see me regarding it, that they would call me for that. so far hadnt heard anything from them, so that is a good thing. as i mentioned before i dont have insurance right now, so i was told when i asked last time that i was there expecting this to happen, that it would be 70.00 per visit for me to go to the doctor. i also just looked on my insurances website and it appears that the labwork that i had the day after i quit my job, which totals about the amount of 1116.00 was denied as me not having coverage. i want to know how they could have possibly cancelled my insurance that quickly. i am going to have to make a phone call tomorrow and see how that happened, and why they did that. i really hope that i get approved for medicaid because except for medications, i believe that they should go back and pay that bill, and also the bill for the hospital visit from yesterday too. i am trying to do everything that they are asking me, and get them everything that they are asking for, i really hope that they dont give me any issues.

Halloween Pictures