Wow Its Been Forever

So yes, I know that it has been forever since I have had a chance to post on this blog. To be honest I havent really been doing a lot online, because I just havent had a chance to do much of anything. Cameron is now over 6 months old, and he is doing well. He loves his baby food, tolerates his bottles, is over 18 pounds now, and I think the last visit if I remember correctly he was 28 inches long. The visit to the pediatric urologist, and all the subsequent visits afterwards along with the tests afterward, basically summed up the doctor saying that we would wait until january and have another ultrasound and see what was going on with it. The diagnosis is that he had a partial blockage of one of his kidneys, and they were hoping that it would correct itself eventually. So hopefully it will. He has the appointment for the ultrasound this week, and then after that we should know what the doctor advises to do about it, whether surgery should be performed or not. In the beginning of August, the baby wasnt even six weeks yet, I started working again. I work part time, averaging about two days a week, in a store. I make basically nothing per hour, and am having issues with them at the moment because they cut back my hours to only four hours last week, and now this week I am not even on the schedule. I got divorced from my sons father, finally, the beginning of September. He was ordered to pay me $250 a month, I have only seen that amount twice so far. And honestly I am surprised that I saw it that much. Supposedly there is a check in the mail to child support for $250, which they of course forward to me, now. So hopefully I get it, and it actually was sent. And by the way, the money isnt even from him, it is being paid by his mother and her husband, more about that interesting information in a minute. The person that I always referred to as my boyfriend in these posts is now my husband, we got married the day after his birthday. There was an issue with me and the kids not having any more health insurance, and there were other things that went on too, and we decided to get married. Or I should say I finally agreed to marry him, because he of course wanted to get married this whole time, and I was the one who wasnt so sure of the idea. Does it make me worried with me being married again, yes it really does at times, and I wonder if I made the right decision a lot of times, like when he starts to be dumb or makes me mad. Am I happy with him most of the time? Yes. Do I have everything that I want and need within his control? Yes. So I would say I am well taken care of. So Frankies dad, who I divorced in September, comes back down here to live from New Jersey. He was in New Jersey since April, and the piece of you know what didnt send me any money the whole time that he was there. But I am getting off the subject, he came down the end of August and stayed here, never went back to Jersey. So he stayed with his dad, well him and his dad had an issue, and his dad threw him out and he wound up sleeping in the bushes, homeless. So after a while of this, I felt sorry for him, spoke with my husband, and asked if he could come and stay here with us. He said okay, which surprised me, and he came to stay with us. The deal was that he was supposed to pay child support, of course, and also give us $35 a week to stay here to help with expenses. Did we see a lot of that money? No. Did I get the child support? Just two times since September. Wonderful right? So last month, Frankies dad was leaving to go to visit his mother in another state, and my husband said to him basically that he wasnt coming back here when he came back. So frankies dad decided to stay where he was, and supposedly has a job there and everything. So we will see what happens with that. He left here at night on Dec 21st. I am very proud to say that I didnt do anything (naughty) with my ex-husband (frankies dad) while he was staying here. Actually I havent done anything with him since the day that we got seperated, but that is a little off subject here. Anyway, I am just proud of myself for that because I thought that I would have been tempted.--------I am ending this post here, because it is now April 15th, 2009 and I found this post in my edit posts that hadnt been posted-----so I am posting this now, and it is too late to write more tonight, but I will be updating more very soon, hopefully tomorrow!

Birth Plans? The Birth of Cameron Michael

i was pregnant due on the 28th of june according to my doctors office calculations, and i was doing okay, dont get me wrong i had all the symptoms of being far along in the pregnancy, hardly any appetite, no energy, all of that, but i wasnt doing bad. and ironically enough my boyfriend ended up taking the time off work to go to the labor and delivery classes with me that were given by my doctors office. but you will see why that was so ironic after reading this. then the monday before i was due (the 23rd) me, my boyfriend, kayla, and frankie all went shopping at the mall, and several other places, even went out for dinner at a restaurant in the mall too. at one of these stores we bought a mat for the front door because it is tile in our living room where you walk in and we didnt have anything there to dry your feet with and it had been raining. so we get home from doing all of this, my boyfriend walks in ahead of me, with the mat that we just bought, and i walk in behind him, and the floor is nice and wet, and i slip and fall, landing on my butt with my left leg twisted under me. so when i am finally able to speak because the pain in my leg is so bad, i tell my boyfriend that we need to go to the hospital. not because i think i am in labor or am feeling anything from that area, but because i want the baby checked to make sure that he is okay and that the fall didnt injure him. (because lets not forget i am like 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant right now). so we go to the hospital, dropping kayla and frankie off first at my boyfriends parents house, and they monitor the baby for four hours, and determine that everything is fine with him in that respect from those monitors. they also determine that i am not in labor even though i am having some "uterine activity". they also check me and tell me that i am not dilated, i am only at like 1 cm which is nothing. they also did an ultrasound on the baby to check him in that way too. they tell me everything is fine they want to release me, and have me go to the emergency department to have my leg checked out, and that i can have an xray if needed. so i talk to one of the midwives in the practice before i am released, and she tells me that when they did the ultrasound of the baby, that they found a cyst or cysts on his kidney or kidneys, and that was something that was going to have to be followed up on immediately with a perinatologist with a higher level ultrasound. so now me and my boyfriend are very worried, and we still had to go the emergency room to have my leg checked. which is in horrible pain. so we do that, they xray it and tell me that nothing is broken and i have a sprained knee, and they give me a knee immobilizer to have it in, which is basically from your very upper thigh to your ankle and you cant bend your knee at all, they also gave me a walker to use. and no pain medication. you ever see an extremely pregnant woman using a walker. yeah, the amount of looks that you get from that are amazing. so i hobble around like this for a couple of days, in horrible pain, and miserable as hell. my boyfriend took some time off work, knowing that i couldnt be left by myself. okay so for the next few days i hobble around on my walker, in a lot of pain with my knee. then on wednesday i go to my obgyn appt (the 25th) and see my midwife. she consults with the doctor, who says that i am 2.5 cm dilated but that i am not ready to be induced or anything like that yet. she said that in her opinion i would probably go into labor on friday. (the 27th). so we left there, (the whole day and night kayla and frankie are not home) and my boyfriend gets his truck from his dad, and we go off roading (sort of), not that it was really an off road track or anything, but my boyfriend from several really bumpy locations. so he did that, trying to get me to go into labor of course. we also went out to eat for a nice dinner at cheesecake factory. the next morning, i wasnt feeling that well, i had a fever, and was starting to have pains. (which i thought could be contractions). so in the afternoon i decided that we better go to the hospital, so we took kayla and frankie (who had been dropped off for us in the morning) to my boyfriends parents house, and we went to the hospital. when i got there the nurse in the labor and delivery didnt seem to think that i was in labor, she kept saying that she thought that it was that i had a bladder infection and that was causing the fever and the pains that i was feeling was just from the uterus being irritated. so she called one of the doctors in my group of doctors (which also happened to be the doctor that had delivered kayla) and he said that he wanted me to be admitted, which then meant that one way or another i was having the baby then. so the nurse told me all this puts me in a private room, and tells me that the doctor will be coming to see me in a few minutes. so the doctor comes into the room (same doctor that delivered kayla) and tells me that it seems that i am having contractions, but that the contractions are doing nothing (i am still the same 2.5 cm dilated) and that if i was going to have the baby natural that i would probably have a very long and painful labor. and also that because i had the fever and that they didnt know why it could pass to the baby, or something could happen to the baby. he said that if my labor was progressing well that he would have let me have the baby naturally, but being that it wasnt, that it was best for the baby for me to have the baby now, by csection. so i said okay, its best for the baby then that is what i have to do. so in almost the blink of an eye, they got me ready for it, got everything ready for it. and i found myself on the operating table, getting a needle in my back to numb me from the waist down. and i was laying there, awake, and having a panic attack that is how scared i was. so then my boyfriend came in the room, and was sitting next to my head behind a screen. and then i heard them say the babys out, its a boy, and almost the same time i heard him crying. my boyfriend actually got to see him come out, i didnt get to see him at all, they took him to NICU and said that he would have to stay there for a few days because he was getting antibiotics because they didnt know what was wrong with me and werent sure if i had given it to the baby. so this was a shock to me, because not only did i get a csection but my baby wasnt going to be in the room with me. so i was in the recovery room for about an hour and a half or two hours, and finally they brought me upstairs to the mother and baby ward, and i got to see the baby in the NICU on my way to the mother and baby ward. and i got to hold him and everything. Cameron Michael, born 6/26/08 @ 7:01pm, 8 lbs 15 ozs 21 inches length. i couldnt believe how big he was. but then i had to leave him and go to the mother and baby ward. which was upsetting. but it was for the best for cameron, so that was that. the recovery in the hospital for me was really hard. i was in a lot of pain, amazing amounts at times it seems, so that i would try to stand up and start to cry. and then lets also not forget that i had the sprained knee that hurt also. i tried to see the baby as much as i could, but between having to wait for someone to take me in a wheelchair or trying to get there on my own, it was a challenge. i think i did pretty good though, usually every 3 hours to feed him, except for the first night, i was out of it. the first night i also had the bandage over the incision, an iv in with the pole that ran constantly, and also a catheter in. yuck. 24 hours after the surgery everything came out except the iv stint because i still had to have antibiotics. they did an ultrasound on the baby and said that one of the tubes from his kidney was enlarged (bigger then the other one) and they did another test and said that it wasnt going back into his bladder which was good. so on saturday night they said that they had finished giving him his antibiotics and also that they had finished doing the tests that they wanted to do on him, and that they wanted us to follow up with a pediatric urologist, and have them do another ultrasound on him and see it again. so they said that he could be released the next morning (on sunday). and my doctor had said that he would be releasing me the next morning too, sunday. my fever had went down and had stayed down for 24 hours, so they said that i could be released. the doctor then ended up doing my csection was the same doctor that had delivered kayla, and he was actually assisted by another doctor in the same practice. so i actually had the two doctors that i was familiar with do the surgery on me. so anyway, when they told me that the baby was done with his medicine and testing and that they were going to be releasing him in the morning, i asked if they could let him room with me in the mother and baby ward, instead of being in NICU without me. so they said okay, and at around i think it was 5 or 6pm that night, the baby came to room with me for the night, and then we both got released the next day in the afternoon. so that just goes to show you, there is no such thing as a birth plan, i had an idea in my head of how things were going to go, and how i wanted things to go, and nothing like what i had thought of or planned happened. the only thing that did was what mattered the most, and that was that i had a healthy baby. and me and him in the end were fine. we havent been to the pediatric urologist yet, i have a name and number of a doctor who does that, and i have to set up an appointment with them for the baby, i am hoping to have that done tomorrow.

Of Course.......

so okay, of course my boyfriend is a man, and i couldnt actually expect him to not have sex with me for more then a few days. he looked in the boxes that are remaining in our bedroom for the ky jelly, of course couldnt find it, but then he gave up on looking for it and decided to just go for it. so i let him, and of course it wasnt as comfortable at all as it would have been with the ky. so i bought it at the store, and gave it to him to put somewhere where it wouldnt be lost. the interesting thing is lately, i am not having orgasms at all with having sex with him, probably because of the limited positions that we can do it in, who knows. but he seems to want it more and more then usual. i dont know. and of course it isnt good for me like it is for him. at all. sigh. i hope that it is the position issue with us, and that is why i am not having orgasms, i hope that this isnt a problem different then that, because then once the baby is born we would still be having the same problem. well i guess that we will have to wait and see.

i had a consultation with the lawyers office that i was talking about in the previous blog, they got back to me the next morning, and we went and spoke with the lawyer in the afternoon. in short, the way that she is making it sound, is exactly what me and mike were saying before we spoke with her, which is that unless i get a lawyer the case is going to remain stuck in the same place that it is now. which is going nowhere. mostly because of frankies dad and his lack of doing absoluetely anything in the case. sigh. great, just great. so she said that it would be $1750 retainer fee for her. so she did say that she would accept a payment plan for the retainer fee, which is good, because there is no way i had that all at once. so i told her that me and my boyfriend would have to work that out, and that we would call her back in the morning with the plan of what we could do. so i called her back the next morning (friday) and told them that i could do $500 down and a $100 a month, so they said that they would draw up the papers for me. and that they would call me when they were ready. so i havent heard anything yet, but it has been the weekend, and tomorrow is a holiday. so hopefully tuesday i can sign everything, give them the down payment, and get this thing started. because i really need to. for a lot of different reasons. she also said that if things proceeded without complications and that frankies dad didnt fight, that she had done simple divorces where it was only $600 or $700 dollars, so hopefully that is the case, because that way whatever isnt used of the retainer is returned to the client. (i have to confirm that with her, but that is what the definition of retainer fee is). as it is, to pay the $100 a month to her as the retainer on the payment plan, it looks like i am going to have to not pay my credit card bills, and therefore default on all of them, so there goes the credit that i was trying to work towards getting better. but right now getting a lawyer to get this done is so much more important.

mike for some reason i have no idea why, brought up an interesting subject last night, he started it off with the sentence, that if and when we got married that we were going to need to save up some money before we did. so i said to him what do you mean if, and he said that he knew that i loved living with him, but that he wasnt sure if i ever wanted to get married to him. so i asked him if we never got married if it would really upset him, and he said that it really would. and that was about it for that subject. everytime i tried to bring up the subject after that, he would try to change the subject or fall asleep or say he was tired and it wasnt the time to discuss it. so i dont know what is up with him.

on another subject, i got good news a few days ago, my aunt and uncle, who have lived at least 4 hours away from me and also my mother of course for many years, probably from before i was a teenager, has been trying to sell her house for over a year. and she wasnt able to sell it, and her contract ended with her realtor, so she took it off the market, and i think that she basically resigned herself to the fact that she just wasnt going to move. which upset us, because we wanted her to move from where she was, because it will be better financially for her and my uncle but also because she wanted to move close to me and my mom too. well the good news that we just got was that she has a contract on her house to close in a month, turns out one of the realtors remembered that she was trying to sell her house, and had an interested client, and she called my aunt and asked if she still wanted to sell it, so my aunt said yes, the lady came and saw the house, and that was that. she got the contract on it to buy it. so my aunt was looking for a house to live, near my mom, and it turns out that she found a condo that she really likes which is 2.4 miles away from me, or something insane like that. the only thing is that she got it inspected and the inspector found a mold and mildew issue from a current leak that is in the bathroom, so my aunt of course told the realtor that she wanted it fixed by the owner or she wasnt going to take it. so she is waiting to see what the owner says, she said that it was owned by an estate, and being that they are paying every month on property tax and association fees, hopefully they will just fix it and she can buy it. we will see.

what final subject and then i swear that i will be done for the day......i have less then 5 weeks to go....i think that as of today i have 33 days until my due date according to the date given to me by the ultrasound. but what annoys me is when people come up to me and say ohhh wow look at you, when are you due, or something like that, and i tell them that i am due june 27th (using the same ultrasound date) and they say wow you are so big i thought that you were ready to pop anyday now. or the ever wonderful wow you are so big, is this normal for you? is this how you were the with the other kids too? i thought you were ready to give birth anyday. sigh. there has been times i have been so ready to say yes this is normal for me, it is because i was overweight when i got pregnant this time, and i wasnt the perfect size 6 or even size 10 at the time that i got pregnant. and i can probably guarantee you that i am not going to be a size 6 at any other points in my life, it will take lots and lots of exercise and dieting just for me to get to where i was before i got pregnant with frankie (the second pregnancy). so yeah i was overweight and most of it was probably in my stomach, which might be why i look so big right now, because i have the extra body fat plus the baby tummy. i dont mind people asking when i am due, but when i tell them please stop with the comments about me being big. geez.